Anger

my Anger

started out like a match

struck into the new world

with a roar

and then crackling to life

quickly and forcefully

kicking its way into the world

along with me

from the second i was born

it smoldered.

and as i got older

the Anger only grew

and everyone said

don't be so Angry child

and they doused me in cold water

telling me to control

to cool

to extinguish

this flame inside me

self control

self control

self control

was the phrase i heard over and over

mostly because i didn't have any

i lashed out

with tiny fists

and sharp teeth

wild

fearful

Angry

like an animal

fending for its life

i saw how cruel the world was

and i vowed to fight back

i ripped my tights

and got in trouble

i was never the good kid

always red

always in the corner

but when i wasn't Angry

i was alive

i was still wild

but in a happy way

the flame danced

like candlight

like a roaring campfire

like a fireplace on Christmas Eve

warm and inviting

yet still uncontrollable

and they still

doused me in cold water

telling me to control

to cool

to extinguish

this flame inside me

because happiness

was somehow just as bad as Anger

yet this destruction of my happiness

brought my Anger

and they were surprised

and i got into trouble

they said i was smart

maybe that's why they

doused me in cold water

telling me to control

to cool

to extinguish

this flame inside me

they feared me

they feared my sharp tongue

they feared my sharper mind

they knew that the Anger

of a smart girl

is incredibly dangerous

in this world run by men

this tiny child

who had ambition

and fire

had to be pushed

but not in the right way

not challenged

not to more achievements

but down

down down down

she couldn't be allowed

to grow

to blossom

to flourish

and they doused that Anger

they doused it over and over with

self control

self control

self control

self control

self control

self control

self control

self control

self control

until i believed it

and that flame became nothing

a tiny compressed ball

somewhere deep in my chest

denser than a black hole

letting out no light

no heat

nothing

and i still try

so hard to keep it in

and i wonder

when is the right time to get Angry?