An Ode to My Gran

I am lucky to have known and loved many beautiful, strong and generous women in my life

But one stands above them all

My maternal grandmother

When I was little, I loved spending time at my grandparents’ house

When I grew up, I still loved spending time at their house

My gran always had a welcoming smile and warm hug to everyone who entered

Her smile and hugs radiated pure love and kindness

I never heard her utter a cross word, expect perhaps to granddad

But then they were married for over sixty years and some nagging is part of the parcel when you go the distance

Neither would she engage in negative gossip

When others complained, she listened, but always saw the best in people and in every situation

She was a force of positivity

And kindness

And generosity

She was always willing to give her time and money to those in need

She would never turn someone away who needed her help

I am hoping to grow into a wonderful woman like her one day

But unlike her, I’m still prone to gossip and idle talk

I loved her dedication to all she loved, but especially to my granddad

They were childhood sweethearts

Seated together in the first grade, they were destined for each other

And their love never waned

I remember sitting in their livingroom, watching TV in the evening

Their armchairs were next to each other

And they sat there holding hands

I wondered if I would ever find love like that (happy to say; I have)

She was always the best cook

I remember walking into their house and being greeted with the scent of freshly baked bread and meat cooking in the oven

She made catering for 30 people look easy

But really, it was magic

When I was nineteen, I moved to London

She knew how much I loved elk meat

Every time I visited, she cooked some for me

I loved her even more - if possible - for that

But the happy times were nearing their end

Approaching her nineties, she began to struggle with her memory

Despite the memory pills, she went into a decline

And we watched, helpless, as dementia increased its hold of her

As always happens, it gnawed away at the real person and replaced it with someone who didn’t recognise her nearest and dearest

There is no greater pain and sadness than when you look into the eyes of someone so important to you and there is not light of recognition

It was the worst for my grandad

He was there every day, watching the love of his life disappear

As she lost her battle against dementia, he lost his strength and will to live

She passed away first

Fell asleep with her husband of 63 years and my mum by her side

My grandad followed six weeks later

With her gone, he had no reason to hang about anymore

He wanted to join her in the eternity

My gran was a light in so many people’s lives

In her little town, everyone who knew her loved her

Going shopping with her was always an operation of several hours

As everyone would stop her and want to talk to her

My gran might not be with us in the physical world anymore

But her legacy still lives with us always

I will always carry her in my heart and I know she looked after me when I had cancer

I will always look up to her as the greatest rolemodel in my life

When it comes to kindness, strenght and generosity