amino acid tryptophan; the finality of crystalized film

two lost souls glide across a crystal screen

heartbreak that feels like a finale, a crushing crescendo

I felt flushed, my head so full yet my heart so starving-cold-angry

These roots I gave myself the reason to keep moving

after I couldn’t move in mid-flight, I was the glitch that was made all wrong in every way

I

Couldn’t fall

I

Couldn’t die

I

Had to drive in a motorless body

After euphoria soaks in my brain when I watch Punch-Drunk-Love again and again

My eyes stuck to their crystalized harvest

I’ve realized that we all have a unique chemistry in each cell

This particular film has amino acid tryptophan;

It made me instantly fall asleep

It knocked me out cold

I was dead to the world

As their fumbling, awkward gestures of shy, tender, beyond tender, beyond soft love carved into my bones, no, not my bones

The light inside of my very soul bends, whorls as if a new creation, stagnates and dives

But how can I keep that when I’m awake in a burst of something frigid, a punch of cold air that hits as my eyes open

I want to keep it inside of me as if it was real. Real like I made it. Real like it was always mine.

The special feeling that happens after you eat so much of something that has amino acid tryptophan,

Serotonin blasting like a perfect song you can’t stop replaying

It comes out in a soft voice that says goodbye forever to me

“Goodbye forever.”