Already dead

my heart longs deeply like a long fused sleeper cell.

My soul has reached its endless state of consciousness,

A flower petal that has been pressed too hard against the hard place of deathlessness,

And cannot breathe, but cannot die.

Layers cover my vision, dark, deep, burgundy fires

I am only but a mortal man,

But now my heart beats like a mortal enemy.

My darling Betty, you were always there.

In my very deep pitted veins, my blood oily and dry,

You kept me warm on the most frigid nights with a kiss I had never stopped

But I am already dead,

Dead tired,

Dead alone,

This is so damn tormenting

To know you are so close by

But I can’t feel, see, taste, hear you.

I wanna feel your heat one more time

As your signature gave me reason to feel

Like the sleeper cell inside of me finally had the right direction to wake up,

Trailing behind my immense timeline of smoke-like, dream-starvation

as I am that spooked horse

In the dead of still moon and morn,

Grabbing your heart like a pitch fork that won’t make you bleed, but feel everywhere and everything all at once.