All The Voices

Meet my friend Ana.

She tells me I’m fat and that food is bad.

She tells me to obsess over my weight and my image.

It’s like she runs my life.

Meet my friend Bridget.

She distorts the way I see myself.

She makes me cry when I look in the mirror.

I hate her.

Meet my friend Mandy.

She tells me to snort my pain away.

I love her beautiful snow.

Meet my friend Addy.

He tells me I need his pills to be myself.

He says I need them to be confident.

I want his candy all the time.

Meet my friend Maddy.

She makes me wanna sleep until it’s all over.

She is draining and lifeless.

I can’t escape her sadness from coming.

Meet my friend Ax.

He makes me overthink.

He makes me feel out of place in my own body.

He comes out of nowhere and

takes forever to go away.

Meet my friend B.

He causes my emotions to go from high highs,

to low lows.

He makes me feel crazy,

but I love the euphoria.

I just hate the numbness and depression

he brings too.

Meet Lilly. That’s me.

I get lost sometimes

in the chaos of all my voices.

Yet, somehow I am still breathing.

The weight may feel like too much sometimes

but, I’m here. And I’m doing it.

I am not my anorexia.

I am not my body dysmorphia.

I am not my addiction.

I am not my depression.

I am not my anxiety.

And I am not my bipolar.

My disorders do not define me.

My voices do not control me.

I am Lilly.

Perfectly imperfect,

despite all my chaos.