All hail our Bravest Soldiers.

Death is always sickening,

it lingers like a heavy fog,

a stifling weight in my chest,

and I’m trying to push it away,

to move on like everyone else,

but it won’t let me go,

the thoughts keep spiraling,

why is it always this dark?

____

Saying goodbye forever is never easy;

every moment feels like a battle,

reaching for something I can’t grasp,

what is it—curiosity about what they have to face

or despair at their exit?

I don’t know.

_____

But another soul is gone,

not from the soft embrace of nature

but from a world that chews you up,

spits you out.

____

And here I am,

lost in the echoes of what was,

haunted by those I’ve lost,

the pain cuts deeper than any blade.

____

I remember my attempts, the hopelessness,

how desperate I felt, wanting the chaos to end,

this overwhelming darkness closing in,

and I wonder,

did they feel it too?

____

The crushing weight of despair, the pull of the abyss,

knowing they might not know what lay ahead but still taking that step,

praying for a miracle, wishing for a way out,

but instead they slipped away,

leaving behind a chasm that feels impossible to fill.

___

But I’m still here; I stayed,

clinging to the edge of something,

what is it—hope, maybe?

____

But hope feels fragile now,

like glass ready to shatter,

and the memories haunt me,

the faces of those I loved,

and damn it, it sickens me to know,

to feel this weight, this gut-wrenching reality,

of the battles fought in silence,

the cries that went unheard,

the hands reaching out but nobody there.

____

I can’t shake this off; it clings to me,

like a shadow that never fades.

____

I wanted to scream at the world,

“Look! They were here, they fought,

and we can’t just pretend it didn’t happen!”

___

I remember every attempt,

every moment when it felt like

the only escape was the void,

the whisper in my ear,

“Just let it end,” but I’m still here, grappling with this mess,

wondering why I stayed,

what makes me different.

___

And it sickens me to think of what could have been,

of the dreams buried under the weight of despair,

of the light I found when I finally breathed again,

but some like me didn’t.

_____

So I raise my shoulders for all my senior soldiers,

the bravest of all, who faced their demons

and chose to surrender, even when they didn’t want to,

who fought in silence, embraced the storm.

_____

we carry their stories now and forever,

their truth, their strength

their pain etched into our hearts,

and I’ll shout their names into the void,

because they deserve to be remembered,

to have their light shine through our grief and joy too.

____

Here I am, standing for as long as I remain on this side of life,

to break the silence

and remind us all that they mattered,

that they fought hard,

and we will never forget.

For they remain our bravest soldiers.

I hope your souls find joy wherever you are.