Adoration In Disgust

You gave me affection amid my pride.

Days that ravaged me, too discouraged to be alive.

Your encouragement aided me in survival.

But you mislead me through a lie.

We had an understanding, or was I too demanding?

The signals I thought were accurate, just a false representation?

In the absence of your heart, you walked to him.

Heartbroken, I acted like I wasn't when you talked with him.

You gave him all your interest, and your light for me dimmed.

The eyes that once stared into my soul with affection, those same eyes then glared upon me with pretentious disgust.

Looking back, I empathize with your sense of shame associating yourself with me.

I grew firm as I learned from that season of naivety.

I didn't become the protagonist I expected of myself.

A villainous aura shrouds me in the comfort of structure inside rebellion.

Chaos thrives around me as I am in it.

Foresight warned me of the price I would pay for cultivating the consistency of resilience.

Everything has a cost, though I've profited for how much I've " lost. "