A.S.W

It was the end of July. I was throwing a kickback to celebrate passing my exam. My friend and I were getting supplies out of my car. We were laughing and talking as we were walking down the steps.

I wasn’t paying much attention when I noticed a pair of Steve Madden leather shoes. My eyes were slowly examining, taking all of his presence in. As I reach his face, our eyes locked.

I didn’t like how he was standing; however, I loved his standing presence. I wasn’t impressed of how he looked, but was in love with the way he looked in that button down dark and light purple plaid shirt. Instantly I wanted him, I had to have him. I loved him at first sight.

He introduced himself to me and I was speechless. Our future suddenly went through my mind like warp speed. I was in his bed, lying beside him.

We both didn’t tell a lie that night. He wasn’t looking for anything serious. I said I always get attached. We both took a chance and we made love.

We made trips to the grocery store. I met his family, he met mine. We spent holidays together. I was the best he ever had. However, we both didn’t tell a lie that night.

I got attached. He wasn’t looking for anything serious. With me, he didn’t want anything serious. Six years went by and I watched him get into three serious relationships.

I was there each time to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. I was looking for inconsistency but he consistently didn’t want me. There went my self-worth.

I continued to give myself to him at a discounted cost. I loved him, so I allowed him to disrespect me. I just knew he would see my worth someday, I just had to be patient.

Then he had me looking at myself, wondering why not me. There went my self-esteem. How could I truly love someone after losing love for myself. Why would he be willing to pay the price for me when he can get me dirt cheap.

It all came back to reality. I found myself looking at him with that buttoned down light and dark purple plaid shirt. I respond to him by introducing myself and welcomed him to the neighborhood.

My friend and I continued to walk to my car. A tear falls from my cheek. My friend touched my shoulder and wonders what wrong. Little did she know I just experienced my love at first heartache.