A Page from My Soul

A Page from My Soul

After…

There are dried tear droplets on the page…

I didn’t know where I was going, I never knew…

Lack of direction, they would say

But I wasn’t lost

I couldn’t be,

Because I always circled back

To this;

Impossible beacon,

Improvable living.

I tried, oh how I tried,

Lord knows I tried,

To be successful, to fit

Into

Normalcy, but

I didn’t…

I would accomplish the task well

With misery,

Crying out I don’t belong here,

With words

And actions

A sobbing desperation

Needing to leave,

And each time,

I left, knowing

I didn’t belong in that world.

There was no place for me

In that world.

I needed to leave

That world

Or I would be….

Truly dead.

And so I had no choice

But that what I chose

So

I left.

And where I would start something new

Something intriguing,

Something

In their eyes,

Productive…

I didn’t,

Not this time…

No

This time, I picked up a pen

Not because I was

Overflowing with words,

But with intent

Today was a new day,

And it would be different.

I started to write,

Not caring

About… anything

Except the words

On the page

That is what mattered,

Those words

On that page,

Those words

That will be

Long after

I cease

Being.

Now

I catch myself

Laughing

At a comical antidote,

Raging against an injustice,

Weeping,

For at times,

The world is unfair

Even the world

I create,

At times

Is so unfair

And

At the end of the day

When I put

My pen down,

I smile

In blissful

Enjoyment,

Content,

Loving

This world

That I have

Always

Belonged too

And

After

Reading the words I wrote,

I am moved,

By what I find there

Staring back,

As if in testament

And I weep

Leaving wet tear droplets

On the pages

From my soul.