A Lack of Words

The feeling when a person shouts your name in public.

It is not surprising or overwhelming

An inch of worry but not really

A need? Not much

A longing? Not that

A sense of pride to experience it — there is a little

Pride is it? Crazy thought.

It brings a smile, a soft one.

I don’t know if it’s the way it was said or who said it

Was it because other people could hear it? I don’t think so.

I don’t know why, maybe because

I wouldn’t call out for someone if I don’t have a strong need

I wouldn’t call out for someone if I can take her “leave”

I wouldn’t call out for someone often,

the act requires bringing down some walls that were built to save me

Save me from what? I don’t know.

Myself, maybe.

The feeling we get when it starts to rain.

It is not entirely loneliness — this, whatever it is can also be felt in groups

An urge to pull someone beside you.

Someone to squeeze or tickle

A sudden thirst for a good laugh, one that echoes through walls

A random need for a drink with someone who needs no explanation on why you need it

A search for a deep conversation about anything

A certain craving arises as the rain falls,

A cup of humanity, perhaps.

The feeling when you need to get a break from everything.

Not death, too brutal

Not rest or sleep, they don’t offer relief

Maybe a transport to somewhere else

Somewhere far from here.

An unfamiliar place so I can finally be at peace with

alienation.

Am I having too many?

Or do I lack vocabulary?