A Gift?... or A Curse? (Life With ADHD)

A gift or a curse-

What is this acronym?

I myself lean towards the former,

and dare I describe it as forsaken.

I'm sorry to say...

that this four letter acronym

has taken more than it's given.

I'm overwhelmed‐

by me...

by far too many notions at once‐

my thoughts know of no slower motions

and I simply cannot contain the commotion.

I'm overwhelmed‐

by all that I cannot even begin to count...

I'm cornered‐

by me,

my continuous critiquing,

myself...

and all the rest that this curse keeps bringing out of me.

This constant conflict keeps me far beyond my capacity-

and this criticism that isn't constructive keeps me bound to the belief that there is no such thing as peace.

I'm only almost sorry to say...

that this four letter acronym

has only made me, hate me.

I can only be consistently inconsistent‐

chaotic in every moment,

although I may seem calm, and collected, but...

the inside of my mind is truly a cacophony.

In one instance, there's a high of creativity

and in the next, comes a crash like no other‐

How can I explain...

that it was never my choice to vary on a range as broad as this,

or how I'm constantly toeing the line between wanting to be normal...

and wanting to simply—

No...

As much as I wish to be able to just go in peace,

I know that, that will never come to be...

and as much as I wish to be normal,

I know that, there is just no such thing.

I cannot stand-

how I cannot understand, myself...

or how I simply cannot withstand

standing in front of myself.

A gift or a curse-

What is this acronym?

I can't believe that it's the latter,

to believe in just about in anything else I'd rather.

I'm not very sorry to say...

or not at all really‐

forgive my honesty, but

this four letter acronym

has taught me to see nothing...

but the worst of me.

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Thank you for reading! Here are some other stories that capture the same emotions and struggle with my experience with ADHD. It's important that I note, it is different for everyone, what I've written doesn't fully capture all of what ADHD is. Remember, you are NOT alone!!! :)