A Feeling and the Thoughts Chasing It

I’m tired of seeing you

Behind my eyelids

A flickering frozen frame

You look better in motion

But I have given my thoughts too free rein

And now you live in grooves of memory

Your likeness carved in canyons of grey matter

Thoughts of you an endlessly repeating refrain

Fools fall in love through the eyes

You captured me through the details

And have not since let me go

The way you think rare and special

And you are at once foreign and reassuring

Though you don’t seem to know

That you are a myth, not meant to exist

People aren’t kind like you’re kind

I follow you like a sunflower

You leave me aglow

I fight against self made currents

And know I am a fool all the same

You’ve looked at me a thousand times

Drowned, soaking idiot that I remain

I can’t keep from hoping

A thousand and one sparks warmth, sparks flame

Not a feeling that can’t be denied

One which rips lives apart

In satisfaction of selfish aims

But something that lives in your eyes and answers my own

What does it even mean

To be yours?

To be claimed?

I’m tired of seeing you

Behind my eyelids

Tired of drowning and longing for the ocean

And longing for the shore

I want to be satisfied with what you’ve given me

I want you to want me more