A Covenant Unkept

I loved thee once—not soft nor slow, but bright,

As stars that pierce through sorrow’s heaviest veil.

Thy name, a psalm I whispered into night,

My heart thy temple, and thy smile my grail.

But love, alas, is not a merchant’s chart,

To trade for gain or hedge with fear and pride.

It is the fire that forges human heart,

And not a debt wherein the soul must bide.

Thou said’st the heavens called thee to depart—

That I, a forge too fierce, would sear thy wings.

Yet was it I who scorched, or did thy heart

Refuse to bloom in covenantal springs?

For love, true love, is not a bargain struck,

Nor built on ifs and whens and who loves more.

’Tis borne in storms, not found in moments luck’d,

And walks where wounds and faith are interwore.

Thou wert my Eve, my echo and my ache,

The pulse that thundered through my every breath.

But now, I mourn the life we did not make—

A dream entombed in silence and in death.

Yet still I love. Though torn and cast aside,

Though I am not the man thy path demands.

I love as Christ, who bled and was denied,

Yet bore the cross with open, nail-pierced hands.

Is joy required to prove a heart is true?

Must gladness reign if love is to abide?

Then I am false, for grief is all I knew

When thou didst leave, and emptiness replied.

But even still, through sorrow’s cruel disguise,

I serve, I give, I pray thy soul finds peace.

For such is love—no less when pain belies,

No less when answered not, nor given lease.

They say I must move on, that time shall heal.

But time is mute when memory speaks thy name.

And healing oft forgets the depth I feel—

A covenant unmet, yet not a shame.

For though I walk alone, I walk with grace,

And trace thy absence as one sculpts the wind.

Thou taught me loss, but more—thou taught me place:

To love, though unloved back, and not rescind.

So fare thee well—not with a lover’s spite,

But with the blessing of a soul set free.

I choose not bitterness, nor fading light,

But Christ, who bore the ache that lives in me.

And should I never wed, nor feel embrace,

Nor see thee smile through time’s forgiving glass,

Know this: I loved with heaven’s quiet grace,

A love not measured by what came to pass.

So now I write this verse not to compel,

But carve the truth no silence can betray:

Love is not lost when not returned as well—

It lives in covenant, though hearts decay.