~8 Mile!~

~ 8 Mile ~

(A Rap Song?) :-)

I'm not that kind of girl,

I don't work that way

I'm not trying to get pregnant

'because' I'm 38 years (old?)

The time I wanted to have

your children in

has been and gone;

My love for you

was so strong

I'm sorry you'll never know the difference

because of what you did wrong.

I'm tattoos and piercings

And colored hair,

I'm fast cars;

High heels, short skirts

and tight clothes.

And a really excellent Mother

Something yours will never know;

I wanted to be pregnant when I was 30

So now I have nothing to do,

because I've given away

one of 2...

And the oldest she's almost through.

I would have had 5,6, or 8 with you

I don't understand settling down,

But meeting you was the only time I ever wanted too

Loving you!

I'm free to go

to travel the world

by plane, car, & boats

You know;

There's a world I'd rather

go see,

Then sit down to tea with your parents

like I'm old and we are friends or something?

I don't want to sit around in silence, next to someone you

'THINK' loves you,

In a house forever

Watching T.V.

I'd rather be the movie you see.

I'm not from from Delta B.C.

Or Winnipeg Mb.

I'm not 53 and I'm not going to act that old yet.

Life isn't over simply because two people meet,

I've been on the streets of Canada for 25 years;

How can 'I' have a home until I go find it?

Something I was trying to teach you right away,

something I wanted us to do together

If you had given your heart to me,

If you had stayed or come back right away.

I sat on a hill for 6 days staring down at the corner

waiting for the man of my dreams to rescue me with his words.

“Did you mean now? Did you want me to come to Winnipeg now?”

And the girl with a sun burnt face, lashes on her feet with a hot pipe in her

hand and fresh brillo would have said, “YES, NOW!”

A girl who lost her room over meeting you

Someone you never thought to console,

A heart you never took time to consider

when you threw her a meatless bone.

“You should quit, you said, (but you didn't say WHAT or WHEN?)

I play guitar, you said,

You're not going to make me come to Winnipeg are you? You said.”

And the day after the fun was over, you shrugged your shoulders at me

Like that kiss and those words didn't matter TOO 'ME'.

You left me for dead in the Cobolt Hotel,

but I pulled threw from the seizure I had from meeting you,

I went to Winnipeg and waited to see you

and didn't understand, I didn't believe you had the right

to change your mind on my heart, when you were the one that made it

start.

If I hadn't met you I would have been fine,

but my body and soul will now NEVER GET OVER what you left it to live

through.

Something has died inside of me,

An answer that YOU weren't strong enough to see

was simply as easy as staying with me.

Why wasn't I allowed to come where you stay

and ask the same favor,

That's what adventure and discovery are for,

or how else do people fall in love?

What is white trash like me supposed to do

to get thru to an 'UPPER' Middle Class SHELTERED suburbanite like you,

that you have to leave where you are

to know where you're from,

and since the whole dam Country has been MY SPACE

How do 'I' GROW?

If you know the answer

Please let me know,

Maybe things would have gone different

8 yrs ago;

If this were made clear when you met me

understanding where we stood;

Before you shrugged your shoulders over

what I was asking you!

I'm tired of snow & cold air,

Cloudy weather

and too much rain.

I just wanted to be with you,

I just wanted us to fall in love.

I gave you love and you gave me hate,

It wasn't your parents I was trying to date

The first time I met your parents was already

to late,

What was there to negotiate?

I had already been married and divorced and had a child of my own,

I didn't need to be pampered, or rescued, I didn't need to sleep in their

home.

You left me to have to find a way to LIVE through all the PAIN,

of what it meant to JUST MEET YOU;

How do I make it fair about what you didn't care

enough about (me) to get right?

I wanted to go hunting, and watch birds,

I wanted to go swimming,

I wanted to go back to school,

I wanted to FINISH GROWING-UP WITH YOU!

I miss you,

But I don't look back

I've been on the streets for far to long to understand

life like you,

Your world is small

and I deserve better

then that,

I deserve to be loved and respected;

I want Valentines and anniversary gifts

I want picnics and all kinds of surprises.

I'm finished crying over the things you didn't do for me,

It takes 7 years to get over each broken heart

and it's now been 8 ½ since I've seen you

Any questions?

So I sit and write the words that tell the story of my life,

One song, one rap, one poem, one story at a time.

8 mile

Something you don't understand,

Something about me

You didn't see,

Through the choice of actions that I've taken.

I came to finally understand after Sara was born

that I have to be a whole person first

before anyone can love me:

So I'm not the only one in a relationship of 2,

doing all the work;

otherwise you don't know me

and I'm in bed with

Walls, silence and lies.

I won't do that; lie down in death

when my life isn't over yet.

I wish you the best as you find a way to move on

From my white trash

and this LOVE SONG?

Not many Women

Will marry a guy

whose only grown up to be his Mother,

that's to INCESTUAL FOR ME.

A Guy without a drivers license at 38?

Were we supposed to WALK, RIDE a bus or Skytrain

every time we went on a date?

Watching you live without ID or holding down a job

told me how many years 'YOU' should have used,

You haven't learned a thing from the experience

But I will tell you what I was trying to get through to you,

A man's job is to love a woman

Failing to do that he has no job;

that's how much I was made for you,

as you live without a car, a house, a credit card and work.

But I'll say this much for you

For the time I spent with you

at least you're not a slob!

Thanks for folding your clothes on the chair,

while taking a shower in my hotel

without asking whether or not I'd like to join you

while you were there?

Last I checked cleaning a HOUSE when your a man is not employment.

I didn't want to be in a relationship with a 'MAN' Maid

I wanted a boyfriend,

A best-friend

not just a room-mate.

Being your Mother, with good looks and 'thinking' that you're

nice isn't enough to care for someone, that won't get you to far.

It takes work to establish a life

The kind of dreams you want to make real

Climbing the mountains of life,

Generating results

That takes money to do;

I loved myself all the way through,

more than you love yourself today

I loved myself enough to know

I don't want to live with any more regrets

But you will always be in my words,

I will never stop thinking about you;

Simply 'because'...

We Met!