Benjamin

The aging mother caught her breath. In her hand was a gift that she could not appreciate with words. None could do her thoughts and feelings justice. So, all she could say was "thank you".

There was something about the accident that changed her life. Driving home from work in a city where she was mostly alone, the aging mother was hit by another car that did not give right of way, causing hers to almost flip and the airbags to smash into her chest and ribs.

That saved her... and changed her.

She always felt like she was trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, yet persevered thinking she needed to get out of her comfort zone to grow. She thought a new adventure was moving locations... exploring possibilities of a new city crippled with strangers.

There were plans made with her partner. Her children were adults with their own lives now, so they did not need her. Or so she thought. So, with courage she moved and with determination, she worked and waited for her partner to catch-up.

But weeks turned into months, and he still had work to do in her hometown. She wondered if she should return. She felt so alone and lonely yet convinced herself that she was fine with solitude.

Then the accident happened, and loneliness and solitude laughed at her. As she was treated in hospital, time taught her to breathe once more, and her thoughts slowed for the first time in a long time. She was now able to hear the voice of her heart, and it spoke of home.

Home was with her children although they were all adults. Home was with her family, her brother and her partner. Home was amongst rainforests with the cleanness of freshwater creeks washing away confusion and indecision. Home was the saltwater of the Great Barrier Reef, high humidity ushering-in summer storms. Home was where her heart was, and when she returned, she felt connected, belonging to the peace of a space and place she loved.

As she hugged her eldest son and daughter-in-law, the aging mother quietly wept. She was home in their company and as she looked at what her hand held; she knew that this was where the new adventure she sought would begin. For in her hand were photos of their baby, around 17 weeks in gestation and still growing and resting in the mysteries of his mother’s womb.

She realized she did not need a new life to explore. The new life that had been created was to be a new adventure for her. And although she would not be in control, she knew she would always be that secure base and safe haven for those that she loved around her. Furthermore, she knew that they would always be that for her. Home.

Looking though photos held in albums later that same day, the aging mother became captured by an image of her eldest son. She smiled as she recalled that day, then in the warmth and comfort of feeling at home, she wrote:

“The ever-changing camera,

A tool used to capture time.

Fleeting moments made into memories,

Returning without rhyme.

Meet my firstborn, Benjamin.

This photo around 30 years old.

Taken mid-exploration,

On an adventure left untold.

Shirt tucked into shorts,

Bright colors reflective of he.

The little boy who explored,

His world of mystery.

My little boy named Benjamin,

With his gumboots a bright green.

Darting among chickens in backyard gardens,

Escaping the dinosaurs he had seen.

Black socks as gloves on his hands,

Helping him on his quest.

To explore the backyard monsters,

This moment of him in mid-rest.

The lens captured a farmer,

A hero and a son.

Creativity sparked with imagination,

The lens caught him fashioning fun.

My eyes as lens did see,

The curiosity he beheld.

I marveled at his energy,

The wonder in him that dwelled.

And 30 years on,

My eyes as lens still see.

The daring explorer - Benjamin,

Living adventures with Melanie.

I wonder what he will see,

As he captures moments in time.

Setting suns or waterfalls,

On top of mountains, they will climb.

But amid my wonder and wait,

I admire his courage as his mother.

For the bravest adventure is his,

To have when he becomes a father.

I know his eyes will see,

A whole new world of possibilities.

When in May their baby arrives,

Sparking contentment… vulnerabilities.

What will his lens capture,

As he navigates this new quest.

I wait in anticipation,

Will encourage him to rest.

For it is in these moments of quiet,

His eyes as lens will see,

The beauty of his own child’s home,

Imagination, sparked by mystery.”