Why you can't move on from your ex

We have all been there, by there I mean we have met “The One”, our soul mate or whatever you may call them and they broke our hearts and turned out to be what we mostly didn’t desire. We loved them so hard and so bad that as corny as it may sound “time stopped” whenever we were with them. Dating them was like planting a fruit tree and after a long wait for the fruit to be ripe we found out that it was spoilt inside, looks good on the outside but has rotten insides. The time they told us that they were breaking up with us we felt as though we were going through an out-of-body experience where our souls left our bodies and our hearts fell to our stomachs.

The reality is after they dump us for the next best thing or what’s greener on the other side we should not internalize but externalize. What I mean is it was not us it was them, whatever they said in that gut-busting moment had nothing to do with us.

So why can’t I move on from him/her? Here’s why:

You are still keeping contact

This person doesn’t want anything to do with you, so why would you be so gullible to fall for the “let’s be friends” trap? They are not being your friend they are just keeping tabs on you, also ask yourself how many people they are friends with that are their exes. Do yourself a favor and move on they are not worth it.

You’re still keeping things that remind you of them

Keeping your ex despite them having broken up with you by the use of objects whether intangible or tangible is not the way. Be an adult, it’s over, stop being weird. Stop keeping their pictures, unfollow them on all your social media platforms, block them, pawn their wedding rings, move on intentionally and understand that this is for your own good.

You’re closing yourself off emotionally

So you’re a dumpee or dumper and it’s been a while since you broke things off with your ex “soul mate”. You’re going on some dates with new people but it’s not working out. Let me establish something here YOU ARE A CATCH otherwise you wouldn’t be going on any date. Let me establish the second thing you are screwing things up by not immersing yourself in your new dates. You are constantly thinking of your ex, what could’ve been, you are thinking about a lot of what if’s that will never happen. Forget your ex and give new people a chance and only then will you realize how stupid you were to be hung up on your ex. Don’t be afraid to let go and surrender, the universe will listen and you’ll get someone you deserve.

You don’t love yourself enough

Love sometimes makes us put people up on pedestals and forget about ourselves, our dreams, and our potential. A breakup is a wake-up call to help you remember who you are, what you love, and how to get yourself back into that state of mindset and personal development. Self-reflect but do not dwell on the past instead fix your future. Get into shape, read more, eat better, work on your career, challenge yourself and be the best version of yourself that you can be. One day you might get a text from them but ignore and block them because you have become a non-needy person that has decided to keep the past in the past. Last but not least love yourself entirely, unconditionally and remember that no one can love you without you first loving yourself.