Why I Waste My Energy on Small Decisions Instead of Building My Future

I often feel like my energy is always running low. I want to do something meaningful, but I rarely have enough strength or focus to actually get things done. Over the years, I’ve tried different strategies: setting up rewards and punishments, starting small habits, even pairing tasks with daily routines like eating. But every attempt eventually failed.

And yet, I can’t just give up and let myself waste away. Deep inside, I still want to achieve something.

Recently, I came across an article that asked why successful people always seem to have so much energy. That was when it hit me—I am the opposite of everything that article described. I’ve tried countless ways to “boost” myself, but I never really stopped to ask: “why do I always feel drained in the first place?”

Let me give you a real example.

One day, I needed to get to a certain place. I was standing at a bus stop. I had two choices:

* Take the bus for just two stops (but I’d have to wait).

* Rent a shared bike and leave immediately.

Sounds simple, right? But right next to the bus stop, there were street vendors selling snacks. I wanted something to eat. Yet, I remembered the last time I tried to get change from one of them, the seller charged me an extra . That upset me, so I decided not to buy from any of them.

But I still craved food.

So I stood there, waiting for the bus, debating with myself: “Should I buy something? It might make me gain weight. But I’m not dieting. And I’m not even hungry. Still, I really want a snack...”

The bus arrived. I got on without making the decision to buy a snack.

But that didn't mean I stopped debating.

As the bus drove past another stop, I spotted a burger shop. Again, I was tempted. But then I thought, Burgers are too high in calories. Maybe barbecue would be better—tastier, cheaper, and still filling.

By the time I decided, the bus had already passed.

Finally, I reached my destination. But that area had no vendors at all. I kept wondering if I should go back. If I went back, I wouldn’t take the bus again; I’d probably rent a bike. Or maybe I could just order delivery. It might even be cheaper on the app.

So I opened the app, scrolled around, then lost my appetite completely. I didn’t order anything.

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Later, when I told a supervisor about my thought process, she quickly grew impatient.

“I wanted to buy something,” I told her.

“Then just buy it,” she replied.

“I decided not to,” I said.

She looked at me with disbelief. “You’re way too indecisive.”

And the truth is, I hadn’t even finished telling her the full story.

She then explained that whenever she faces this kind of situation, she just buys everything. My first reaction was: I don’t have that kind of money to buy everything.

But after reflecting on it, I realized the real difference between us. She spends her energy figuring out how to make more money. I, on the other hand, waste mine debating whether to buy a snack.

This isn’t a one-time thing. Every time I go to the supermarket, I get stuck in the same loop. Should I buy the $3 pre-cut watermelon, or the $0.80 whole one? One is convenient, the other is cheaper. After too much back-and-forth, I usually leave with nothing.

And by the end of the day, even though I haven’t actually done anything, I feel too tired to work on what really matters—like my side projects. My whole day gets wasted.

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Of course, food and clothing are basic parts of life. There’s nothing wrong with caring about them. But if you want to earn more and build a better life, where you spend your time and energy makes all the difference. Some people spend their energy on projects and opportunities. Others, like me, spend it debating dinner.

And that choice shapes our results.