why I shouldn’t shut up

I have been writing since I was a kid.

I used to come home from school and write short stories in a flowery purple notebook using a pink fluffy-tipped pen and I would read all of my stories to my parents.

As a teenager I would pull all nighters to write Wattpad fan fiction that to this day has a combined total of 500K+ reads.

As an adult I have written countless articles and blog pieces and fiction, and I’m sitting on the third draft of my dystopian novel.

And yet despite all of this - despite the hours I’ve poured into writing, despite the countless ideas that I’ve had to bench over the years, despite the creativity and enthusiasm that lives inside of me - I have struggled to do one thing…

Call myself a writer.

And why?

I think, deep down, I’ve been scared to label myself as a writer.

It seems so formal. So academic. So sophisticated, and so much pressure.

Writers sell millions. Their works are adored. They have writing routines and go to book signings and have their lives together.

Me? I have none of that. I do none of that.

I don’t have a degree, and I don’t think I’ll ever have a writing schedule. (Because quite frankly life is too fun and I’ve realised writing should never feel like a chore because that’s when it becomes BORING!)

But for the longest time I’ve convinced myself that this must mean I’m not a writer.

And that’s f*cking bullshit.

I’ve realised to embrace being a writer means to let go of the pressure of what it means to be a writer.

Who says it has to be any of those things? Who gets to decide what a writer looks like?

Some days I write from my desk using my computer, a blank word document on my screen and an idea in my head.

And I’m a writer.

Some days I write from my phone, in my pyjamas, in my bed.

But that still makes me a writer.

In the past few years I’ve been inspired by some deliciously creative women - Dolly Alderton and Florence Given to name a few. And they’ve really opened my eyes as to who and what a writer is.

The novel I’ve written is a Young Adult dystopian novel, and my dream is for it to be published and sold and in people’s hands, and my book becomes to them the Hunger Games or Maze Runner of the new generation.

But I’ve discovered that what I really love is writing my ramblings.

Writing my thoughts, speaking as a woman in her twenties who is learning about the world and wanting to share her experiences and feelings and words with said world.

I love it more than anything.

I love being a creative.

I love expressing myself, I love putting a piece of myself out into the world and going “hey! I’ve said this thing and I think it’s good enough to read!”

And it’s taken me a really long time to realise that that is what a writer is… just someone with something to say who thinks it’s good enough to be seen.

I am good enough to be seen.

And so are you.

Which is why I shouldn’t shut up, and neither should you.

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Hi I’m Leigh, I want to start expressing myself more so tune in for some fiction, some thoughts, and some fun.

Until next time x