When Happiness Feels Like a Struggle, No Matter What You Do

I left a major job at a hedge fund in New York City about eight years ago. I wasn’t sure if work was the only thing I should blame for my unhappiness at the time, but it was the biggest act, and the courage I could take to make me feel like I was doing something to help my case.

I have spent eight years looking for happiness, and I am not sure at all how it would feel and where I would find it.

So I wandered around a lot. I moved from New York City to San Francisco and from Seattle to Park City. I started a business, closed a business, got a job, quit this job. After I got engaged, I stayed with my boyfriend, and then I went out. I sought happiness on the beaches, in the woods and in the woods.

Open to all the help I can get this time around, I also forcibly collected the Top 10 list which offers sure ways to get the most out of it. (The increase in these top 10 lists has given me the comfort of not being alone in my quest!)

I can’t count the number of times I put a little notebook in my nightstand to record three things I’m grateful for before bed, or start exercising a lot (and more, and more).

I ate one list at the top and then moved on to the next. And that is the problem. My experience has been that health quality improvements can be made on this list as guidelines, but improvements pass quickly - as was the case with my every move, new jobs, and new boyfriends.

What to do? After years of trial and error (along with some of the best teachers along the way), I have come to realize that this is a question that gets us stuck in the beginning.

The top 10 lists of great happiness are the rules of what to do, the steps to take, and this is their limit. And it was the biggest boundary of my entire path - my focus had taken a big, bold action.

What I have learned about finding happiness is that first we must stop doing it. We must begin by focusing on what we are at the core, in our personality; it is only then that we can begin to discover what we should be doing to fully see this beautiful man, to let the already existing stars shine brightly.

So, who am I in my end? Who are you? We are all made up of a different set of values, the combination of which forms our existence.

The best way to live a happy life: see your values ​​(who you are) and do (do) accordingly.

How well do you know your value system?

Often when we talk about numbers, words like honesty, integrity, kindness and thinking come to mind.

Most of us were taught to respect these values ​​at an early age (as if we were all in the same kindergarten class), and then most teachers, including parents, stopped talking about v-word.

In the West, aspirations and goals are often more emphasized than values ​​as young people grow up and take on responsibilities.

But your value system is like your fingerprints, it is full of life and completely different from you. (That’s what makes it so hard on any of the top 10 lists to talk to all of us.)

My value system, for example, is made up of about twenty goals combined to make me the kind of person I am.

My values ​​include courage, beauty, curiosity, ingenuity, fun, presence, generosity, to name a few. When I'm funk and can't figure out why, it's probably because I don't feed one (or more) of these values.

For example, when I get out of beauty because I spend a lot of time in front of my computer, the things I do can involve walking in nature. When I feel like life is becoming more normal and planned, I might make a day of fun with myself and go for a rock climb.

Inevitably, when something goes wrong, I can see the amount that needs more love - the pronto! - and then create an action object from that deep source of wisdom.

Now it's your turn. What values ​​make you unique? If you haven't spent much time getting to know yourself this way, here are a few suggestions:

Use a long list of prices and circle the ones that come home

Think about your characters and think about what you love about them

Think of the values ​​you want to convey to your children

Once you have your own list of values, start by identifying a few that you do not experience, the values ​​that for some reason do not appear in your daily life. With those values ​​as your guide, create a to-do list that will allow you to interact with each value in full.

Enter from there. (Why wait until the value isn't visible?)

When you are able to connect your actions to your values, happiness awaits you. Eventually, you will be connecting with the beautiful creature you are and that connection is what happiness means