When Everything Changed

Growing up, my life was surrounded by drugs, alcohol, lies, and fighting. I had always dreamt of the day I finally moved on with my life and made a change for the better, for my happiness. But that change was not the one I was expecting.

In 2019, I had been kicked out AGAIN. I moved an hour away to stay with my grandparents, but I felt so free. There, it felt like I mattered. Except I started to take advantage of that freedom, starting to do the things I watched growing up. Never in a million years did I think I would end up being the same. During this time, although going down the wrong path now, I was in a relationship with someone I had met working a new job. He was different than anyone before, so smart and always happy. It lasted a few months until I had a breakdown one night and ended it over being in my own head, and to make things feel better I started talking to an old friend’s brother! Mind you I was 18 here, it just passed my birthday. I went out with this guy a few times, then found out I was pregnant. Terrified, I kept it a secret for a while. After telling the man who got me pregnant that I was, he dipped then and has since. I told my mom (after finding this out, she wanted me to move BACK in, and having a baby it felt like being with my mother was the best thing since she had me young) but absolutely not. Everything that happened before I left was the same, just growing a baby at the same time now.

Fast forward to July 2020, I had a friend come visit for my baby shower who was from Georgia. I am in Wisconsin. After the shower, a huge fight broke out and my friend decided this would be a great opportunity to just leave with them, start a new life HOURS away, just leave this behind. Of course, I am young and just hoping to get my son out of this mess before he was born. That next day, their parents started their drive to come pick us up, and take us all the way back to GA. I was definitely scared, after all my parents had just threatened us and used physical force against my friend, knowing I had family around here-they could pop up anytime! Anxiety was constant. And such a big move was hard, lonely, depressing. My son was born in Atlanta, September 9th, 2020. A week after that, I decided having a baby without any direct support from my family, I went back to Wisconsin.

I spent the rest of the year at my moms again, still no changes in the chaos and issues, it seemed no one has worked on anything. I just felt comfortable being in my room again. But not in any other way. February 2021, I woke up one morning and decided I am going to move again, but this time permanently, and truly begin a better life. That morning, I packed everything in garbage bags and asked my really good friend’s mom to pick me up. This friend’s mom only lived 10 minutes from me then, so she hurried and got me out knowing the situation. I threw so many things in the back of her truck so fast, so scared of my parents seeing me leave. My stepdad worked at a car shop literally next to our house, so I kept looking back and running. Once it was all thrown in, I turned my tracking app on my phone off, and at that moment, everything felt so good. I finally got out forreal! Years and years of bad, now time for good. I stayed with my friend’s mother for a bit (bless her for helping so so much) and eventually went on to finding my own apartment, even a two bedroom so my son can have his own space. Although still financially struggling and some very small issues besides that, I am very happy. I feel as though the moment I closed the truck door that everything has changed-for the MUCH better! My son is now a toddler, walking everywhere, loving his home. I am so glad I was able to do this for him. Everything I do is for him!

Thank you for reading and getting to know some of my backstory.