Weaponized Therapy Speak in the Workplace

Therapy speak—it’s everywhere now, from social media to coffee shops, and increasingly, in the workplace. Words like “boundaries,” “self-care,” “toxic,” “trauma,” and “holding space” have become part of our daily language, and don’t get me wrong, it’s great that we’re talking about mental health and emotional intelligence. But here’s the twist: when these words get co-opted for the wrong reasons, they can do as much harm as good. And in the workplace, they’re becoming the perfect tools for manipulation, gaslighting, and shirking responsibility.

This is weaponized therapy speak, where phrases that were meant to help us understand each other get twisted and used to avoid accountability, deflect criticism, or even silence others. It’s the manager who “holds space” for feedback but doesn’t do anything about it, the coworker who avoids doing their job because they’re “protecting their boundaries,” the boss who shuts down valid concerns as “negative energy.” What was supposed to be a way to foster empathy and understanding has, for some, become just another way to control the narrative.

If you’re in a workplace where people toss around therapy language to avoid doing the hard stuff, you know exactly what I’m talking about. So, let’s unpack the problem and figure out how to spot it, call it out, and keep therapy speak from being used as just another corporate weapon.

The Rise of Therapy Language at Work: From Empathy to Manipulation

Therapy speak came into the workplace as a well-intentioned attempt to foster a more empathetic, inclusive culture. It was a way for people to connect on a deeper level, to acknowledge the human side of work. And, honestly, we needed it. For too long, work was treated like a machine, and people were expected to leave their emotions at the door. Emotional intelligence became a buzzword, and therapy language became the norm for managers trying to build trust and connection.

But somewhere along the way, this language got twisted. It became a shield for people who didn’t want to take accountability, who wanted to shut down conversations without really listening, or who wanted to keep things vague to avoid making hard decisions. Therapy speak, in the wrong hands, has become a tool for avoiding conflict rather than resolving it, a way to maintain control under the guise of empathy.

How Weaponized Therapy Speak Shows Up in the Workplace

So, what does weaponized therapy speak look like in practice? It’s sneaky, subtle, and usually sounds “nice.” But scratch the surface, and you’ll find manipulation dressed up as compassion. Here are some common ways it shows up:

1. “I’m Setting Boundaries” as a Get-Out-of-Work-Free Card: Boundaries are crucial, but when someone uses “I’m setting boundaries” as a way to dodge responsibilities or teamwork, it’s a red flag. There’s a difference between protecting your mental health and just refusing to collaborate because you don’t feel like it. Weaponized boundaries are often about shirking duties and making others pick up the slack.
2. “Holding Space” Without Accountability: Ever hear a manager say they’re “holding space for feedback” but then do nothing about it? It’s like they’re creating a feedback echo chamber where you can voice concerns, but nothing changes. Holding space is only meaningful if it leads to action. When it doesn’t, it’s just a fancy way of saying, “I’m going to pretend to care and then ignore you.”
3. Labeling Criticism as “Toxic Energy”: A classic tactic of weaponized therapy speak is shutting down dissent by calling it “negative” or “toxic.” Valid complaints and constructive criticism get labeled as “bad vibes” or “toxic energy,” effectively silencing people who are just trying to improve the workplace. It’s a way to keep things comfortable for the status quo while alienating anyone who challenges it.
4. Misusing “Self-Care” to Avoid Hard Conversations: Self-care is essential, but when it’s used to avoid uncomfortable but necessary discussions, it becomes a weapon. Managers might cancel meetings last minute because they’re “practicing self-care,” or coworkers might refuse to address ongoing issues, saying they “need to protect their peace.” Self-care should never be an excuse to ignore responsibilities or leave people in the lurch.
5. “Trauma” as a Way to Avoid Accountability: Trauma is real, and it’s not something to dismiss. But in the hands of someone looking to avoid accountability, it can become a tool to dodge responsibility entirely. When someone labels routine workplace issues as “traumatic” or uses personal trauma to avoid their role’s demands, it not only trivializes real trauma but also leaves others carrying the burden.
6. Gaslighting Through “Emotional Intelligence”: Emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing emotions, but when weaponized, it can be a way to manipulate. Managers who claim “high EQ” but use it to subtly shift blame or make people feel guilty for raising issues are essentially gaslighting their teams. They twist emotions to control the narrative, making you feel like you’re overreacting or “not as evolved” as they are.

Why Weaponized Therapy Speak Is So Harmful

At its core, weaponized therapy speak erodes trust. It’s a form of gaslighting that leaves people second-guessing their own feelings and experiences. When someone uses this language to avoid accountability or silence others, it creates a toxic environment where people feel unheard, undervalued, and even manipulated. Instead of fostering open communication, it shuts people down and creates a culture where real issues go unaddressed.

Weaponized therapy language also undermines the very concepts it’s supposed to support. When people misuse “boundaries,” “self-care,” or “trauma,” they trivialize these important practices and make them harder to take seriously. It’s disrespectful to those who genuinely need to set boundaries, who practice self-care for their mental health, or who have real experiences of trauma. This misuse makes the workplace even harder for those who are trying to bring real empathy and emotional intelligence into their roles.

How to Spot and Call Out Weaponized Therapy Speak

So, what do you do when you encounter weaponized therapy language in the workplace? Here’s how to recognize it and respond effectively:

1. Question the Intent: Ask yourself (and them, if you can), what’s the goal of this statement? If someone is using therapy language as a reason to avoid work or accountability, it’s a red flag. Genuine boundaries or self-care don’t mean abandoning responsibilities—they mean finding sustainable ways to handle them.
2. Push for Specifics: When someone says they’re “holding space” or “setting boundaries,” ask them to clarify. What actions are they taking? What support do they need? Pushing for specifics can expose whether they’re genuinely practicing emotional intelligence or just throwing around buzzwords to avoid real engagement.
3. Separate Feelings from Facts: When therapy language starts being used to deflect or dodge, ground the conversation in facts. If someone’s calling valid criticism “toxic,” bring it back to concrete examples and data. Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean ignoring hard truths; it means facing them with empathy.
4. Reframe Self-Care in Terms of Teamwork: If a coworker frequently uses self-care to dodge tasks, gently remind them that self-care and accountability aren’t mutually exclusive. Effective self-care includes managing responsibilities in a way that doesn’t place undue burden on others. Frame it as a team value.
5. Use Therapy Speak for Good: Flip the script. If someone’s using emotional intelligence language to deflect, use it to refocus. Say something like, “I understand you need to set boundaries, but we also need to find a way to make sure this task is completed. How can we respect both our boundaries and our responsibilities?” It’s a way of holding them accountable while respecting their needs.

Bringing Authenticity Back to Therapy Speak

Therapy language, emotional intelligence, and mental health awareness aren’t just corporate trends—they’re tools that can build a more inclusive, supportive workplace. But when misused, they become weapons that do the exact opposite. They create a culture of deflection, avoidance, and passive manipulation, making it harder for people to bring their true selves to work.

So, let’s keep these words in check. Let’s use them with intention, with authenticity, and with a commitment to genuine empathy and accountability. Let’s stop letting therapy speak become a get-out-of-work-free card or a way to dodge responsibility. Because in the end, weaponized therapy language doesn’t make anyone feel safer or more supported—it makes people feel manipulated and, ironically, more alone.

If you’re in a workplace where therapy language is used to dodge, deflect, or diminish real concerns, don’t just sit back. Call it out, ask the hard questions, and make it clear that genuine empathy doesn’t mean looking the other way. It means facing challenges head-on, together, with clarity and respect. Because real emotional intelligence? It’s not about avoiding hard things. It’s about tackling them, honestly and together, so everyone can do their best work without being left in the dark.