Too little time

Only 22 and I feel like I'm running out of time. I know I have my whole life ahead of me but it feels late to start something new. I keep trying to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life but there are so many choices, and so little time.

I'm at point right now that if I go back to school, I'll still be young enough when I graduate and start a career. But I also don't want to be in my thirties when I get married and have kids. I know, I make it seem so awful and act like 30 is so old, but that's just the way I make myself think.

I guess is there is no handbook on how you should live your life, but they also don't give you much time to figure it out. I never knew what I wanted to be growing up and every time I was asked, I would shrug and answer, "I just want to help the world". My problem is, I want to be everything and then some, I don't want to stick with just one thing.

Animals were always a huge passion of mine and at a point in time, I grasped onto the idea of becoming a Veterinarian. That never worked out, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I never went back to school after high school and needed to take time to get to know myself and "gather my bearings". Here I am five years later and still no clue on what I want or what to do.

So here's what I did, I took multiple personality quizzes that would match me with careers that was best suited for someone like me. Some of them were EHH and others were like OOH. The two most common ones that showed up repeatedly was working in the Health care industry as a nurse or some type of counselor.

Now for the ultimate test, which one would I actually WANT to do???

If you got to know me, then you would know I am the most impatient person in the world. I make decisions when I am not in the right state of mind. I have a tendency to try and make decisions as quick as possible without thinking them through. I'm a giant yarn ball of a mess with tangles that overlap every which way and get knotted in the most unpleasant places.

Now you're probably think, "she's such a mess, how could she ever be a counselor, let alone a nurse"? Well my friend, I can do ANYTHING. My personal self does not reflect who I am at work. I am a hard-worker, a team player, exceptionally organized and can multi-task like no other.

It's like work is the only thing that keeps me grounded and gives me a sense of how I can control the outcome of situations and whether I set myself up for success or not.

I know that seems a bit unorthodox but it's how I am. My life has never been well structured or organized. I was born from chaos and from that chaos comes the beauty of madness. Just like they say, you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

So fellow readers, I am starting my journey to a BSN. Believe you me, I am just as nervous and scared as you are. I have a huge support system so I know I will be fine, but there lies uncertainty if I can really do this. I mean the worse thing that can happen is I get into student debt and follow a different path. Money comes and goes and as I've stated, I've got my whole life ahead of me.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk!