The Thicket

A bit about saving myself from my addictive cycle and how finding my road to life.

Well believe it or not, This is a short about how I got out of well to say the least hell. I hope this little bit about me will help give hope.

This is a quick biography about my addiction and road to recovery.

Names are not important what is though, Is that in 1999 I just turned eight years old. I was number three for my mom only of four but anyways. I was playing after school and I wanted someone too play with. I walked into my "older brothers" room to see if anyone wanted to play. There was six people in the room and not one of them had any kind of hang out with kids or let this kid tell his parents what he seen. They were using meth and well at eight I got hit with my first shot of meth. Not even a week later I got arrested at school for meth and weed. I have alot of psychological issues and well using kept the voices still.

I kept my using up thru my childhood, teenage years, and early twentys. I didnt have anyone around my age that I associated with or called my friends. My family did what ever they did and let me do what ever I wanted.

So as you probably know I started commiting crimes. Stealing cars, from stores, people, anything I could lift. I got put on probabtion in southern california CYA. For stabbing my step-dad. I did a few years in corrections and had too stay out of trouble for a year to get off probation. Turned into 14 years on paper.

I got told to go to adapt and meetings well, All of those things set me off the longest I had clean was when I was in jail. And even then it wasnt often I was sober there either.

I used everyone and didnt really love anyone other then myself. I had my first kid when I was 15 years old and I took off. I have seven children now and there are five mothers. I never wanted to get clean or have a relationship till I was released from prison in 2011 for stealing cars and of course drugs.

I met my ife of seven years and companion for almost elevenyeats. I drug her down my life style and well she got pregnant. She well did the smart thing and left me because I damn well wasnt getting clean and she knew it. For four months I did nothing but drugs in my run down tweeker trailer.

She called me the night before my birthday and told me IF I was going to be a better person get clean and be a father she would take me back.

Usually I would have hung up and went back to getting high but something told me not to. Just go get out of this mess you made. I flushed my drugs backed a backpack with clothes *three outfitts* walked a few miles slept ina ditch or two. Made it to her and locked myself away for the first two years of recovery. My wife and her family took me in and helped me get my head into a state that could at least make a legit decision. This was the hardest two years of my life at this point still to this day! Knock on wood.

Today I am seven years clean and I talk, see, and spend time with my children, my wife, and good friends. I found the me that I wanted to be. And some times I lose hope and want to wreck shi because thats all I even knew. But well with the way the world is today all I can do Is show my kids how they should act regardless of someone else's actions. To Do The right thing regardless of the situation.

I was the person who would rob you at the atm. And today Im the person who help's cub scouts deliver food, volunteer at old folks home, help anyone along my path I can.

There is hope life and love after addiction. It doesnt take meetings or councsling or even a support system. It takes you and your willingness to change and accept what you wouldnt before.

If I can I know you can.