The Hermit

Watching the flickering movement of the candle dancing before me, I breathed, and with this moment knew that something I had always thought to be untrue could no longer hold me in doubt. Here I was thinking all my life that I was crazy as all the small coincidences were now getting louder and louder and could no longer keep me stuck.

A sudden intense heat surged through me and within this moment I felt a passion of desire to know. My eyes filled with tears of joy, for so many years doubt held me imprisoned. I knew now that fear and holding on to others manifested beliefs, had shaped my environment. This fear has shaped us all, all who do not understand, all who do not yet know.

I was being held and directed by a power. I just needed to get out of the way and be open to the signs. Instead of overanalysing, which I constantly do, I allowed the magic to appear. I did not look like I constantly did past tense, I allowed myself to feel, see I put my trust in the essence of accepting and just went with the flow, remembering to breathe of course, Aim the dream is now real.

So now I must remind you all this is just a small snippet of this true story. My Aim is to share just a small part for now.

The same old shit of continuous hustle and bustle of people, noise everywhere, I was out of my comfort zone. However, it was important, the new year was here, and school term was about to begin. I borrowed my friend’s vehicle to get my youngest daughter out and excited “come on Briella at least try and enjoy this day out”, I reminded her, telling myself I must lead the way. Briella continued to look unimpressed, so I knew that I needed to continue to move forward and not allow her to deter me from this adventure. Walking quickly through the shopping mall I knew I was not any way as excited as Briella, but knew it was now. As we neared the shoe shop, I noticed an independent jewellery stand. I love trinkets, so I decided to have a quick look as I neared the glass showcase - there they were - I could not help but smile, a particular gem stood out the most “Amber encased in silver pendants”, rings shinning a beautiful standout for me it meant something that held me when I was all but lost and alone. I felt imprisoned, unloved, stagnant, and this spoke to me in so many ways - Amber pendant yes - but it was more than just the Amber itself, it is the meaning behind it, for I knew how special as it sung an all-mighty feeling of Love! Like I said this is, but a small part of this beautiful journey, and I can only share a small part of the whole for now.

“Like Bees to Honey Liquid Amber Gold like hot molten desire” - God, I felt again within this movement as many before this, that I was not alone, and yes guided - one way of getting my attention and enrapturing the essence of love and beauty to me - this needed to be felt textured with outers through symbolism and words, was a target for me, to feel to know combining the two enhanced my perception you know.

I felt this moment and breathed. Will add in my little black moleskin notebook for I already know I have won the lotto - its love God.