The Cult of Home Ownership

I grew up in the Upper Midwest. My formative years spanned the late ’70s through the early ’90s. In that place and time, home ownership was a cult and a powerful one at that.

We GenXers were brainwashed into thinking that anyone who rented their home or apartment was a total loser. Exceptions were made for those who fell on hard times, like a divorce or a death in the family.

Otherwise, you had two, maybe three years after entering the job market to buy your first house. Home ownership was the hallmark of responsible adulthood. Otherwise, you and your lifestyle were suspect. Is he mismanaging his money? Is she dealing drugs out of that apartment? L-O-S-E-R.

Even after COVID, even after the 2008 recession, home ownership is most people’s dream here. Except for me.

The Unspoken Costs of Owning a Home

All too often, in my neck of the woods, the conversation around home ownership goes something like this:

Nosy Home Owner: How much are you paying in rent these days?

Me: My rent is $XYZ a month.

Nosy Home Owner: My goodness! That much?! Why, my mortgage is only $BlahBlahBlah. If you bought a house, you could save $200 a month and build equity.

Since 2016, my kids and I have rented a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. I recently sat down and listed all of the repairs and expenses I didn't had to pay, that were the landlord’s responsibility.

• Last summer, the HVAC system went on the fritz. Condensation pooled in the hoses running above the ceiling and leaked all over our foyer. The carpeting had to be ripped up and linoleum was laid down. Part of the ceiling had to be replaced.
• The HVAC system eventually died and was replaced with a new central air unit and furnace.
• The water heater needed servicing and new parts.
• A plumber came out for a clogged toilet.
• The refrigerator and stove had to be replaced.
• Oh, and then there's the not-so-small matter of annual property taxes.

If that sounds like an expensive five years, I’m sure my landlord would agree.

I’m neither an economist nor do I claim to be a financial expert. But knowing what type of down payment I could make on a house, I know that these expenses far surpassed any equity I could have possibly built.

The Trade-offs: Renting Versus Buying

I know there are people out there who say, “I don’t care if I lose money. I want to own my home. I’ll paint my walls lime green and own 10 dogs if I damn well please.”

I get it. There is freedom in both renting and buying, just different types.

Of the friends and family I’m closest to, I’ve seen home ownership be absolutely awesome and I’ve seen it be crushing and devastating.

A dear family friend sold her home during her divorce. After paying the realtor, she and her ex split their equity, which ended up being just under $100. And I have a relative who, in the process of downsizing, made a small fortune. I’ve seen home ownership go both ways, and you probably have, too.

What’s so bothersome about the Cult of Home Ownership is that renters are still viewed as lazy or weird or financially unsavvy. Yet, it is totally acceptable and even lauded to sacrifice yourself at the altar of home ownership. Go broke and lose your sanity in the process. It’s for a good cause, after all.

I can’t put a price on the peace of mind that renting gives me right now. When something breaks, I just have to make one phone call and it’s taken care of. So for now, I’m happy to keep cutting that rent check every month.