Teach self discipline

Discipline is remembering what you want.

The myth, which almost everyone believes, is that we “have” self-

discipline. It’s something in us, like a genetic gift, that we either have or

we don’t.

The truth is that we don’t “have” self-discipline we use self-discipline.

Here’s another way to realize it: Self-discipline, is like a language. Any

child can learn a language. (All children do learn a language, actually.)

Any 90-year-old can also learn a language. If you are 9 or 90 and let’s

say you’re lost in the rain in Juarez, it works when you use some Spanish

to find your way to warmth and safety. It works.

In this case, Spanish is like self-discipline, in that you are using it for

something. You were not born with it. But you can use it. In fact, you can

use as much or as little as you wish.

And the more you use, the more you can make happen.

If you were an American transferred to Juarez to live for a year and

needed to make your living there, the more Spanish you used the better it

would be for you.

If you had never used Spanish before, you could still use it.

You can open your little English/Spanish phrases dictionary and start

using it. You can ask for directions or help right out of that little dictionary!

You didn’t need to have been born with anything special.

The same is true with self-discipline, in the same exact way. Yet most

people don’t believe that. Most people think they either have it or they

don’t. Most people think it’s a character trait or a permanent aspect of

their personality.

That’s a profound mistake. That’s a mistake that can ruin a life.

But the good news is that it is never too late to correct that mistake in

yourself and your people. It’s never too late to learn the real truth.

And listen to how people get this so wrong:

“He would be my top salesperson if he had any self-discipline at all,” a

company leader recently said. “But he has none.”

Not true. He has as much self-discipline as anyone else does, he just

hasn’t chosen to use it yet. Just as we all have as many Spanish words to

draw upon as anyone else.

It is true that the more often I choose to go to my little dictionary and

use the words, the easier it gets to use Spanish. If I go enough times to

the book, and practice enough words and phrases, it gets so easy to

speak Spanish that it seems like it’s part of my nature, like it’s something I

“have” inside me. Just like golf looks like it comes naturally to Tiger

Woods.

Self-discipline is the same.

If the person you lead truly understood that self-discipline is

something one uses, not something one has, then that person could use

it to accomplish virtually any goal he or she ever set. They could use it

whenever they wanted, or leave it behind whenever they wanted.

Instead, they worry. They worry about whether they’ve got what it

takes. Whether it’s “in” them. Whether their parents and guardians put it

there. (Some think it’s put there experimentally; some think it’s put there

genetically. It’s neither. It’s never put “in” there at all. It’s a tool that

anyone can use. Like a hammer. Like a dictionary.)

Enlightened leaders get more out of their people because they know

that each of their people already has everything it takes to be successful.

They don’t buy the excuses, the apologies, the sad fatalism that most

non-performers skillfully sell to their managers. They just don’t buy it.