Stop Trying to Be a Butterfly

The butterfly analogy is a good one.

You’ve probably heard it at this point - that caterpillars have to literally become goo in order to reform into a butterfly.

There are so many memes and inspirational quotes about things like “If you’re in your goo phase, it’s ok!”

And these are followed by more tropes about how butterflies can’t see their own wings, so they are the only ones who can’t see their own splendor.

These are fantastic analogies for being too close to your own gifts, not being able to see how incredible you are because you only see the gross parts, and acknowledging that transformation is a messy process.

And yet . . .

I have realized that these are all incomplete and potentially hazardous for one reason.

It leaves people thinking that their emergence from this “goo” phase needs to be fabulous, inspiring, and complete.

More often than not, it IS fabulous and inspiring (harkening back to the “too close to yourself to see how amazing you are” part) but what is the definition of complete?

Especially if your goo phase was caused by something like trauma, loss/grief, or complete withdrawal in order to reassess who you really are and want to be, how would you even measure completeness?

It seems to me that there is no such thing.

We are a work in progress at all times.

Our story continues to be written until the final breath is drawn - and even then, our legacy can continue to spin a tale beyond this physical lifespan.

The art form that is our ego is constantly being added to as we move through life and our spiritual journeys. That canvas is never really completed, as it changes constantly.

So there is no emergence from your protective cocoon as a “complete” butterfly.

And this causes people to get stuck.

I’ll come out of my chrysalis soon.

Soon? Define soon.

After I finish this life-changing book.

No. That’s stupid. Now. Start the life-changing shit NOW.

After I get that degree.

And then what? We’re not testing you. There is no final grade waiting out here!

After I heal.

When do you finish healing, anyway? Spoiler alert: Never.

When I have something to show for it?

You ARE the show, Kindred!

Nobody wants to see this mess.

Dude, we can’t see anything of you AT ALL.

We miss your FACE, damn it.

We miss your soul, and your light, and your dark.

You are not a butterfly.

You do not achieve one grand, phenomenal transformation in your life, and then sally forth in all your glory to astound and inspire everyone.

You are a human.

You are currently a spirit having a physical experience.

And that physical experience is messy AF.

There is much goo.

There is much hurt, and programming, and retreat, and reprogramming, and releasing, and rebuilding, and re-entry (and occasionally burning your wings off in that process.)

And then you emerge again, beautiful and wonderful and YOU and . . . incomplete.

You look a little different each time because you ARE different.

Every phase is you creating something more to yourself.

Every wax and wane is a tide of your energy flowing in and out and finding itself once more.

You are the world, the universe, the cosmos. You are the macro and the micro and all the things in between.

You are not a butterfly.

You are MORE than a butterfly.

And it’s time to let your emergence be imperfect and incomplete and absolutely FUCKING GLORIOUS.