Starting From Within

What steps will I take in 2022 to foster kindness and inclusivity?

When we get asked questions like this it is our human nature to spout off the response that is expected of us, the response that will shine the best light upon our faces. Because, after all, we all want to be included. We all want to be accepted and liked by our peers, our neighbors, our family. And not only that, deep down, we all know that it feels good to do for others. It feels good to do nice things for other people. Immediately I began to ponder what nice things I could for other people. Smile at a stranger. Feed the neighborhood cats. Go out of my way to acknowledge someone that others ignore because of their appearance. Give a large tip to the diner waitress whom I know is living paycheck to paycheck. Volunteer my time to mentor young children. Offer healing sessions for free. These are all things I do or have done, so if I vowed to do these things in the months to come, they would not be empty promises.

But would there be authenticity in my actions? Maybe, maybe not. Does it matter if my actions are genuine or for show? Yes, I believe it does.

For me, the first and most important aspect in fostering kindness and inclusivity for others is to be realistic. Like nearly half of the population, I am an introvert and an extreme one at that. For someone who is extremely introverted (or even just partially so), community involvement and acts of kindness look much different from that of an extrovert. Where an extrovert finds no challenge in conversations with their neighbors or strangers, working with groups of people in the community or giving away several evenings of their time a week, an introvert will find great challenge. What an introvert has to offer will be shadowed in comparison to that of an extrovert. It won’t be nearly as flashy; it won’t be grand and it likely won’t even be noteworthy to most.

The next and equally important aspect in fostering kindness and inclusivity for others is authenticity. In addition to extreme introversion, I have suffered from depression and anxiety to some degree my whole life. I have lived with these aspects of myself on a gradient over the years; there are times when they are merely a fading memory of struggles past and other times when they appear as the grim reaper, preparing to start my transition to the next phase of my soul’s journey. What I have learned over the years, and especially in the last six months, is that when my inner world and mental health are in a good state, kindness, love and inclusivity are a natural by-product of who I am. In the darker days, not so much.

So, to be transparent and to live in the truth of my reality, the steps that I will take this year to foster kindness and inclusivity will start within myself. I must accept myself for who I am regardless of others’ opinions, before I can extend that gift to another. I must show love to myself daily in order to have any extra love to give to another. What does this love and acceptance look like? Well, it is waking up grateful for the life I have rather than wishing my life looked different. It is accepting that my needs are different than the needs of others. It is loving who I am even though I might not fit into the mold of those most popular. In turn, in time, I will accept others no matter their appearance, their personality, or their life choices. I will be kind to others that cross my path, not because I think that I need to be but because I know what it is like to be in their shoes, and I want them to feel seen and special. I will give love to others because I have taken the time to love myself.