Sparkle, Shine from Within to Without

It is often very difficult to authentically shine through, when you feel very different and outside of everything around you. I somehow always manage to still be true to me, and the more open I am, I have found that others find inspiration, healing, and wisdom from the very things I often have felt a need to attempt to hide. Having some social anxiety from years of bullying and being ostracized for thinking differently and having unique limitations that made me stand out any way, never stopped my inner light from shining outward. I really don't mind being unique and different, and although I am still learning that what other's think shouldn't make me feel badly, I delight in being able to inspire others with my creative true self expressions.

I was masquerading as an ordinary clerk, playing the role at an herb and tea shop. I couldn't dress authentically as the Gothic minded artist that I am, and I wasn't fully free despite being at an inclusive and co-exist minded and friendly place. There was always a sense of slight prejudice and a barrier, where a certain image was acceptable, and I would smile as I felt others being disliked for being things that I actually am. It was not an intentional practice, there was true effort on the part of those involved to be accepting, kind, respectful, open to the ideas of others, and practice what they wanted their business to project outwardly. Still, I didn't feel truly free or accepted, despite being shown genuine care, appreciation, family type love, and compassion. It was this delicate awkward balance of love and silent ridicule. I know that the true intentions came from the heart, and that I was truly appreciated and loved.

It was an ordinary day at the shop, where I was portraying an ordinary clerk doing the same customer service and routines I had developed. A customer had a typical request regarding a product, that they were seeking, for an unusual oil of a root that we carried. I understood what they were seeking, and knew that we did not have that oil, but decided to show them the root. I was being authentic from the inside out. I didn't know why they wanted the oil, until a much later time, but decided to tell them about a simple practice I knew about that most would not. As a metaphysician, I have studied on alchemy, and knew that the oil they wanted could be obtained just by placing the root into any base or cooking oil for several weeks. I didn't think much more about it.

It came to pass that this very customer ended up working with me at the store. We had become good friends, and discovered that we had much in common, including our metaphysical interests. She had to thank me for the advice from that day, because it had led her to the perfect solution to why she actually wanted the oil. Also, it had led her to learn about crafting her own tinctures, oils, and create for herself something she loves to do practicing herbalism and crafting varied healing and metaphysical goods. I had a beautiful impact, just by being my authentic self from within to without despite my circumstances, and have gained a beautiful like-minded friend in the process. I am grateful that I allowed my authentic self to shine through not because I was doing customer service, making a sale for the shop, or even for genuinely helping someone out; but because without judging myself or my customer, I was able to serve a higher purpose that led to an amazing friendship, and to all the further good my friend does in her crafting and sharing of her talents with others.