Selfless Sacrafice

Taking the days day by day, questions in my mind, Where will I wind up next? Life has took me several places, unexpected and the expected. Ever since I was 20 years old, I have always moved. For reasons beyond my control, for things that weren't my fault. Usually related to money, and things I wouldn't do for money, sticking to my morals, bad people, or unforseen circumstances. The winding road of life has always took me somewhere else. The journey has been a never ending cycle.

The last time I moved because I could no longer afford the rent where I was staying despite my countless efforts writing day in and day out and putting more into my articles than I have ever gotten out from it. Then I wound up at a friends house for a temporary stay. It had always been something and than again it happened. With all my stuff in storage I had to leave before I could even find a place.

An old friend said, I have a place for you. This place is temporary too. I eventually made my way there through some twists and some turns. Where life took me, and lessons that I learned. There I was, at the age of twenty five in a different state, with my cat that is now gone. Thinking I was going to start again, before long they lied and told me they were moving so I left. I gathered my things and was lead here where I am now. Why? Probably because I wouldn't sleep in their bed. Where I had found my wallet, my articles, and my things trifled with instead. Then I was lead here. Somewhere I can call home. Up i have found my self. Arriba a Spanish saying I have been exclaiming enthusiastically my whole life.

My friends, my things, even my family, all separated throughout. In a motive of empathy an opportunity arose. Help someone, they will take your time, and they can't pay you a dime for your hours. Protect them from falling. Feed them, feed their pets, give them their medicine, do the chores, so on and so forth. Take care of someone, they need you. These were some of the things I was told I would have to do.

So I took the task on so I could do right in the world. Understanding in a position where I needed help, and where I have many other times just as others, so did someone else. That is the day I made a sacrifice. Knowing that one day I would be where I belonged, knowing that for the time being, I was doing what was right and what was needed. Where I am surrounded by people I can respect and admire. Even with my time precious and valuable, and with goals and dreams bigger than the eye can see.

I can still reach them when I have the money. When my good karma comes for me. In the mean time the focus and the goal, is doing what is right in the world, when some people wouldn't. Realizing everything happens for a reason, and no matter how long I am here, I have done the right thing for someone that needs me. For the time being I am in the right place, for the right reasons. Not because it is easy, not because it is simple, but because I have a heart. Because I care, and that drives my ambition of being the best person I can be. My friends from the state next door? I miss them! And there's more, my family? Even through COVID-19 I am usually with them this time of year and I miss them even more.

Everyone needs an angel sometimes, everyone needs an empath. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and sometimes well I am that person for someone. There is that person for me out there that I accept in my life. In the mean time, without any experience, I've been helping take care of an older woman, who has been falling on her own, with Parkinson's, dementia, and Alzheimer's' even when somedays' I find I can't do as much for myself as I can do for them. Putting the needs of others before my own. Because that is what the good person does. It has been a self sacrifice, without a car of my own or the ability of affording one. I've been without the majority of my clothes, my friends and my family, helping someone that has needed me, more than I've needed them. My stuff in storage and my dreams and my future up in the air.

Because selfless sacrifices and empathy. I can not say that it has always been as easy as it might sound or appear to some, just as I can not say that it has always been as hard as it would be for others. Day by day I take the challenge and try bettering myself knowing that I'll make the best with the time I am here. Even my time precious and valuable what is more precious and respectable than lending a helping hand for someone when they can't afford paying someone money for their time to do the things I have done for them, and will do for them. Making friends and making a positive impact along the way. Even though my time could be going elsewhere.

Along with many life goals I have, of traveling and seeing the world, starting a charity for peace foundation, joining in business, being healthy, getting married, having a family, and paving the path to my dream life, philanthropy being one of my goals, Honestly, I would rather be taking care of kids somewhere, chasing love, pursing other passions, putting myself in classes, or making a way where I can be closer of achieving some of my bigger goals. Including afford owning a vehicle, living my dream life, being free where the wild things are, and focusing on myself and my health before focusing on someone else and the needs of someone else before my own.

With what reward? That hardly being the question in my mind, other than, are they okay? Do they have what they need? How can I make sure they are accommodated, happy and healthy in any way I can make possible. Anything I can do? Even when there's days I cannot do so much for my own. Even though there has been some things I can not do. I try my best, even if I've faked it through my day. Even though I have not gotten paid for the endless hours, the exhaustion. Like an actress on a movie screen would. Except far more genuine. Real, and there for her even though I am kept awake at night by the television. Because I am a powerful woman. I am one of a kind. Because everything I do, I do in charity and love. Even though I deserve a life of luxury, someone to spoil me, and someone to do what I say.

No one could ever replace me, live any aspect in my life for me of which that I would live myself, and if they thought they were or they could. One day I will have lived a complete and fulfilled life like that whom I am helping has. In the mean time there is a lot of complications in the world, and I am doing something that is good, something that is needed and something that is righteous. If anyone thought they were going to live any aspect in my life for me, they were wrong. They will soon learn the hard way that they can't and they wont. Because I am me, someone no one else can ever be. I have my own unique identity my own fingerprint, and my own positive impact that i'll leave on the world. My world. The world I was sent here so I could do good things for.

Always being grateful in my circumstance, just wanting to lend a helping hand. Because it is a good feeling, realizing that you're doing something good for good reasons, for a good purpose, for a good cause. Because that is important. Even when I wake up with my hands cold every day, wrapped in a blanket, or the days I trudge through because I have too much going on of my own. Well at least I have a home, at least I get by to the degree of which I do. Making close connections and friends along the way, and realizing everything happens for a reason.

That everyone we meet along the way of our path is for a cause, leading us to somewhere greater and better whether it is spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, or psychologically. Doing the best I can each day. Even when I think to myself, I could be somewhere where my hands aren't freezing cold, but then stopping to remind myself. Look at what you are doing. You are appreciated, you're needed, you are loved, and gratitude is key. Even when I am shivering getting through the day inside because of my living conditions and anemia. Yet there's people in the world who struggle with less, and I feel for them too.

A place to lay my head, a place to care for someone with love even when they aren't family. The reward for doing the right thing is emotionally priceless. Even through the exhaustion, the restlessness, and the days where I can barely manage because my goals and ambition stretch much farther and are much greater than this alone. Taking baby steps, because in the mean time I am doing something that is best for someone. Even when there's others who have not do what is best for me. Even when I feel helpless simply because I've never been in a situation like this. I've never been in limbo without my things, and without my family I always miss for such a long time.

Still every day is a blessing, filling my life with a sense of peace, gratitude, enlightenment, love, and hopes that I am making the impact I need on the world for a brighter future for myself, and for others. Because I can. Realizing how important and appreciated and needed that I am, even if someday's I feel lost and confused. That feeling? Is nothing new. I can't put a blanket over my reality or the reality of others. Only show thankfulness for the good and realize that I have a purpose. Even when it stretches far beyond what I am doing now, it will help lead and direct my paths and my ways even when someday's I ask myself.

A selfless sacrifice, even though I see myself as queen of my castle somewhere, hands warm, accomplishing my goals and my dreams. Living out every single ambition that I was born with. Doing the things that fuel my hearts true passions and desires. What is important and that I remind myself is that I am trying. I don't want my kindness taken for granted, or for anyone to underestimate my worth. I give my time with selfless sacrifice because I live to do what is right. For people who matter, because I matter. Because everyone matters, and everyone is equal. Everyone is special, and everyone counts. Even me. My life is incomplete, a work in progress because I am a masterpiece. Putting together the pieces of my life little by little. Connecting the dots, making the decisions I think are right for the good of the people around me even if inside I am not completely satisfied I realize someday I will do everything that I love. That transforming our thoughts for our best life begins on the inside.

One of the things I love doing of many, is helping others. This is never a situation I imagined I would be in, but nothing I would ever take for granted. It is a selfless sacrifice I have made with my all, with love, care, and a light that shines brightly deep within that is what helps me get out from bed when I wake up saying, today might be tough but you are reaping benefits far beyond anything you could possibly imagine and everything you are doing is worth it. Not only for someone that you care about, but for you, and for your family. So I can look back someday and say I did that because it was right. I did that so I could help improve the life of someone else, and not because I was thinking of myself or how I could benefit myself, but how I could work with others so I could benefit the lives of others.

How I can be a role model for others for people in their lives they come to meet, have met, or have yet to meet. A positive influence on the younger and even older generation. To do what is right, even when it isn't always what is the easiest. Even when it isn't always the funnest, even when it isn't what we want to do at the moment we are doing it. Because it is beautiful, honorable, and something to cherish. Something to respect ourselves for, and be respected for. Selfless sacrifices. Because every puzzle before it is finished in the masterpiece that it is, even through the cracks was once in pieces being put together. Being shaped, finding its way so that it can be at its full potential. In its full form, finished. After first just being another work in progress.