Reaction Is Everything

I was in a car accident today. I am ok. I was rear ended on the way to work.

As I was driving, I noticed the car behind me was a little close, thought to myself, she should go around me. Then she seemed to back off. I felt a little better.

As I was merging from one road to the next. I noticed the oncoming car was speeding along pretty good. So I stopped. I was stopped a good 3 or 4 seconds when, bam. My car shook. I was rattled. Then I realized that I’d been hit. I looked in my mirror and it was the same girl.

We pulled off into the next parking lot. In my head, I knew that I was ok. I was able to realize that the girl who hit me was young. I figured that she would be very frazzled. It was in this moment that I knew how to handle this situation. I wasn’t going to overreact. I wouldn’t yell.

She got out of her car and profusely apologized. I only asked if she was ok. She said yes. I asked again. My concern was that she was ok. She again replied yes. I looked at my car. The back bumper was crunched up pretty good. I knew right away that we wouldn’t be able to handle this without insurance.

That’s when I told her.

I looked at her and said, “Unfortunately you hit someone that is an insurance agent.”

She kind of giggled, as to say, welp I’m fucked! I told her that because she hit me from behind that she would be responsible. She understood.

We chatted a bit. I took her insurance information. We both took pictures of my car. I asked if she had taken pictures of hers. She said no. I suggested we do that. I explained to her that I would call her insurance and file the claim. We then exchanged phone numbers.

It was at that point where she looked at me dead in the eyes and said the following: “I’m so grateful that you’ve been so nice and helpful about this.”

That made me feel really great. I explained to her that we were both ok and that was the most important thing. Accidents happen. This one happened so we had to just deal with the next steps.

I told her that after I filed the claim that I would text her with the information. I got to work and called in the claim. Her carrier was very helpful. Once I received the claim number and information I texted her. I was very detailed in my explanation.

She replied, “Thank you so much!!!”

This made me start to think.

I wondered how would I have handled this in the past. The last time I had a car accident, it was a similar situation. I was rear ended. I don’t remember how I handled it. I’m assuming not well. I do recall the woman that hit me tell me that I stopped short, which I didn’t. I was turning into a car wash. I think we argued a bit. This time was different.

I started to take notice of how I was feeling. I was calm. A little shaken, but calm. Somehow I knew that this young girl didn’t understand what was happening. You could see it in her eyes. She was unsure. She was scared. It was up to me to help this stranger feel ok about what had happened. How much would I have gained if I was a flying-off-the-handle asshole, screaming and yelling at a stranger? Not only would I have a damaged car, but if I had done that, I would have felt embarrassed later on.

I sometimes feel like a broken record talking about the changes I’ve made, but I guess you don’t realize them all until you’re forced to. I was challenged with a situation this morning, and I’m pretty sure I handled it as best I could. I’m starting to see the positive changes that I’ve been working towards come out on a day-to-day basis. For me to recognize this part of my growth is a very big step. I hope to be able to see more steps each day. I could do without getting hit from the back. I mean, she can buy me dinner first next time at least.