Progress is a piece of steak.

In my whole existence, never have I ever treated myself an expensive meal. Never have I ever ate in a fancy restaurant. I have never spent over 500 peso on a meal for myself. And, I have never treated myself an expensive steak, until yesterday.

While I was buying some important stuff in the mall for my apartment, I saw a poster outside a restaurant with their mouth watering steak and its promotional price. I was enticed when I saw how affordable it is for a fancy restaurant. However, I thought to myself, I could already eat three meals with that price. Then, I remember what my Papa told me that day, "Treat yourself!" And then I thought to myself again, I got my first paycheck today so might as well treat myself a nice dinner. So I came in and looked for a vacant table. At first, I was so sure to just order the steak with a promotional price but when I scanned the menu, I saw something that I really wanna try. I tried to brush off the interest by telling myself, I can't spend too much on a single meal because I have never spent that much on a single meal for myself ever. The waiter came to me to ask my order, but I couldnt decide just yet. With the pressure, confusion, and hesitation, going on in my head, I asked myself, "What is it really that I want?" So I ended up ordering the one that I was interested to try, the expensive one. When the waiter left, I said in a whisper to myself, "I DESERVE IT!"

When you train a dog, you reward them a treat. When a student did great in the activity, you reward them a sticker. When a worker gave you an excellent service, you give them a tip. It took buying myself a fancy dinner to realize, I haven't been rewarding myself all this time for all the hardwork I've been doing.

Maybe that's why I feel less confident in my clothes because I rarely buy a new one. Maybe that's why my watch keeps breaking because I don't buy myself a good one. Maybe that's why I still feel hungry after eating because I couldn't buy myself a full meal. I guess that's why I was never satisfied. I've never seen or felt any progress happenning because I've been frugal to myself all my life. Honestly, if you ask me why, I don't have any idea why I do it to myself either.

It took a steak for me to realize that rewards should not always come from someone else but could come from myself as well. At the end of the day, you're the only one who knows and witnessed your real struggles in life so it is only right to receive a reward from yourself.

I am writing this as a reminder to everyone, to treat yourself once in a while. It's not silly to praise yourself for doing a great job, promise, it's very therapeutic and life changing. Don't feel guilty for buying yourself something you that you deserve. They can call it "another spending excuse" or whatever but don't let them stop you from treating yourself. Buy that bag, buy that pair of shoes, book a flight and take that trip. It is in rewarding and celebrating small wins in life that we can find fulfillment just like how fulfilled I felt when I took the first bite of the first ever expensive meal I bought for myself in my whole life.

Again, YOU DESERVE IT! ✨