Potential vs. Reality

An existential crisis:

“moments when individuals question whether their lives have meaning, purpose, or value”

This often feels like my reality, like every fortnight. When the person you've imagined, exercised, educated and pruned hasn't yet manifested itself into your reality, it's frustrating.

Of recent, I have felt at war within myself...

Potential

"I've got 2 degrees, a renowned professional qualification and another one on the way. I'm going to work towards becoming a Project Manager for international development projects sitting on a £35k minimum salary."

this you?

In a never-ending cycle of entry level jobs doing the same basic menial tasks in a 9-5.

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Potential

"I've been saving diligently since I left University so I can become a homeowner and begin to grow my investment portfolio; now I'm ready to take the next steps in seeking a house to put an offer down for"

this you?

I need at least twice my current salary before the banks even bat an eyelid in lending me a mortgage significant enough to be able to afford anywhere in London.

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Potential

"I've got a range of personal projects in the pipeline I'm going to work on so that I can begin to develop my brand and make a name for myself within my field of interests"

this you?

Lacking the time between my day job, the resources owing to a lack of funds and the right connections to support me with these.

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What now?

The struggle in transitioning from my current reality into the woman I envision myself has taken a toll, and has increasingly become a strenuous task in striving towards this. If you too have ever felt trapped in this cycle of not realising your full potential, but have a lot of zeal and set goals for where you want to be, and the type of person you want to make of yourself, how do you begin to bridge the gap?

I'm not hear to spin the idea that I know the best way to do so, because if I did, I probably wouldn't find myself in the very turmoil I'm writing about. I do, however, have some words of encouragement that may help to propel the both of us into newer heights.

1. It's okay to wallow;

Failing sucks. Not mounting to where you want to be is an L. Sha, life can sometimes deal us a deck of cards that don't always appear to work out in our favour - and it's okay to be pissed about it. When I'm in a rut, I allow myself the day to sulk, to cry and to complain. But if God's mercies are new every morning, then I choose to have hope once again. Once you've passed the point of wallowing, dust yourself off and try again.

2. You're not alone;

It may feel like everyone around you is soaring in their careers, with their goals and have an amazing future set up for themselves. And whilst this may be the reality for some, it doesn't come easy for the multitude. And even for those who are making strides in materialising their potential, their beginnings probably looked as humble as yours does now. It's tempting to compare our field to that of the next, but we can't be sure of when they started, how and why. For all you know, some people had to grow up a lot faster than you did due to unfortunate circumstances that required a lot more of them. I remain encouraged by the fact that it's better to be far behind on the right path than comfortable on the road of complacency.

3. Everything will work itself out in the end;

I know this is a popular cliche quote, but if you think about it, you're already half way there. Your zeal and drive to succeed and morph into the best version of yourself, at bare minimum, requires you to know what you want and have some sort of plan/targets/strategy in place. If you find yourself frustrated, anxious or stressed, it's usually an indicator that you're at least trying. You're moving. Working. Keeping active. It's rare for you to go through these motions if you were doing absolutely nothing to help change your reality. Give yourself some credit, you're making progress - slowly, but surely.

4. See the silver lining and in all things, give thanks;

I'm not yet in my dream job, but with the job that I have now I'm able to develop noteworthy experience that will usher me into what I really want to be doing; I can't yet afford a house in London, but I can afford somewhere just outside of it that will allow me to make money from this investment; I have yet to get any of my projects off the ground, but I have a plan in place and the weekends to work on them. It's easy to complain and to play the 'woe is me'. And, as acknowledged, this is okay. There's a time and a place. But at the end of the day, and in all things, cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Can't wait to look back on this and be able to finally say 'you know it's real when you are who you think you are' - word to Drake.

Es xo