Playing By The Book

Throughout Annabel’s life, she always felt different from her peers. Her choices typically went against the grain, leaving her feeling unfulfilled. Why was she so scared to live the same life as her friends?

Her iPhone snaps her back to reality. It’s a message from Carl, her editor at Insider Weekly where she researches and writes about other people’s lives, while ironically still trying to figure out her own.

Good morning Annabel,

Can we meet on Zoom today @ 9:30 instead?

I have another meeting at 11:15.

- C

Annabel quickly responds:

Sure! I’ll see you then.

Annabel shapes her morning around the earlier Zoom call. Her brisk morning walk along the beach is much shorter than she’d planned, and she hurries back to the cottage. She throws another piece of wood into the fireplace and gets ready for her meeting with Carl.

“Hey Annabel, can you hear me?” asks Carl, waving awkwardly to Annabel.

“Yes, Carl,” she forces a smile.

Carl has been at Insider Weekly for ages. He is good-natured, but also quite cunning. Annabel examines the pile of takeout boxes sitting behind Carl. He notices and instantly changes his Zoom background.

“Let’s get down to business. Do you know the photographer Jason Carter’s work?”

“Yes, but none of his more recent work,” she admits.

“A few months ago he won National Geographic’s ‘Photo of the Year’ contest. Ever since then, interest in him has skyrocketed. Several international galleries have requested to show his work. In May, he has an exhibition planned at a New York gallery. He also recently signed a book contract. The publisher wants to get Mr. Carter’s book ready to launch in conjunction with the show, but Mr. Carter didn’t get along with his last editor. He refused to write anything about his private life because he didn’t think it had anything to do with his work, which is nonsense. Of course readers will want to learn about his creative process, but adding some personal flare will sell the most copies.”

“I think he is entitled to do as he pleases. It’s his book, his life. Why are you telling me all this?” asks Annabel as she doodles in her notebook, waiting for Carl to say something interesting.

Carl takes a sip of his coffee, clears his throat, and continues.

“Annabel, the book will not be as appealing to readers if they don’t get a glimpse of the man behind the work. The publisher is an old friend of mine and asked if I could help him out. My friend has tried to change Mr. Carter’s mind, but now he refuses to finish the project… unless he can do it with you.”

“Me?! Why does he want to work with me?” I ask aimlessly.

“He knows you work for us as a freelancer, and he likes your style. Besides, he also claims you two know each other.”

“Sure I know him, but barely! Jason went to the same college as my ex-boyfriend Marcus. I remember helping him promote one of his shows once but that was forever ago,” Annabel’s palms are suddenly sweaty.

“Please say yes! As far as I know, you don’t have a lot of assignments lined up right now anyway.”

It’s true, and the fact that Carl knows anything about Annabel’s financial situation embarrasses her. He knows she can’t afford to turn down the project.

“Okay, I’ll try it. But don’t expect me to work miracles,” Annabel says.

She starts waving goodbye when Carl interjects, “By the way, I told Jason he could stay with you while you work on the project. He will be at your place tonight. I knew I could count on you! Thanks so much!” Carl shouts before quickly logging off.

Annabel's day has taken a wildly unexpected turn, and there is no time to mentally process the situation if Jason is already on his way. She makes a quick lunch, which she eats while researching Jason Carter. There’s not much personal information on his website, other than he is a few years older than her. His bio only says that he has worked as a photographer since he graduated from college.

When Annabel clicks on his portfolio, she can see that he has been to disaster areas and war zones in the first years of his career. The pictures are shocking and brutal, and the portraits are both beautiful and gut-wrenching. She can see that his more recent work aims to show the more positive aspects of the world. Her screen is filled with pictures of nature restoration projects, like cleaning the ocean for microplastics, and children in third world countries taking classes in newly built schools.

Jason focuses on the good; the miracles within the endless devastation and negativity so often captured by photographers and portrayed by the news. Annabel is in awe, imagining how incredible and fulfilling it would be to actually make the world a better place.

There is no time to waste. Jason must be getting close to the cottage. She cleans up the cabin as fast as she can. Carl didn’t provide any clarification, so she isn’t sure if Jason is planning to stay for a few hours or a few days, so she makes sure there are clean sheets ready for the futon.

In the late afternoon, Annabel hears a car in her driveway. She opens the door, and there he is. She always thought he had a cute face, but now he looks so much more mature. A decade does something to a person who is always on the move.

“Hi, and welcome to the cottage I call home,” she says as she does her best to stay calm and cool.

“Great to see you again, Annabel,” Jason shakes her hand, but then pulls her in for a tight hug.

“Come in, as you can see, I don’t have a lot of space, but you can put your stuff in the corner next to the futon.”

“I’m sorry about all the fuss, he says, but your editor said you’re on board, and I can’t tell you how happy I am.”

“Yes, I look forward to getting started with your book. Do you want something to eat? It’s not much, but I have some fantastic bread from the local bakery and some cheese.”

“Yum! That would be nice. I also bought a bottle of wine.”

While Annabel fetches the food, Jason opens the wine.

“Wow, are they all yours, or are they your grandmother’s?”

Jason is looking at her bookshelf. From top to button, there are journals of all sizes, shapes, and colors. Her bookshelf encompasses her life, 88 notebooks full of thoughts. Annabel knows in which journal she can find notes about her first kiss and her first heartbreak, dreams for the future, and even failures. Everything you’d ever want to know about Annabel can be found in one of the thousands of pages in her notebooks.

“I’m not the digital type,” she says while she tries to find her cutting board.

“I can see that! I’m impressed,” Jason is about to take a notebook down from the shelf.

“STOP! They’re private.”

“Okay! I’m sorry. I come with peace.”

They sit down at the table. Annabel takes a sip of her wine; she doesn’t know what to say.

“What have you been up to since we graduated a million years ago?”

“When I was still with Marcus, I taught literature for a couple of years at a high school. I didn’t love or hate the job. I just played the role.”

“You and Marcus broke up?”

“Yeah, otherwise you would be sitting in our beautiful family home, and I would be living the life of Marcus’ dreams.”

“Yeah, he always had it all planned out, didn’t he?”

“Marcus was my ticket to a normal, cookie-cutter life, but when serious choices had to be made, I couldn’t follow through. We wanted vastly different things. He wanted a family and a 50-year life plan. I wanted freedom.”

“I heard he has two kids now.”

“Good for him. When we looked at an idyllic house, I accused him of being a coward and a copycat who didn’t have the courage to choose a different path than his parents and friends. The way he looked at me spoke louder than his silence, so I set him free that same afternoon.”

Jason’s gaze falls to the floor and he takes a deep breath.

“Let’s focus on the future.” Jason hands Annabel an envelope.

She opens it, finding a note and a check for $20,000.

The note reads, “Thank you for believing in me. With gratitude, $20,000.”

“Wait, WHAT? Are you giving me $20,000 just like that? Is this some kind of joke?”

“No, Annabel. You earned this. Do you remember how you helped me with the flyer for my exhibition in college?”

“That was nothing! I liked the way your pictures showed a realistic but beautiful portrayal of campus life.”

“My life completely changed because of that exhibition. It was a stepping stone that launched the rest of my career in photography. Because of you, the right people gave me a chance and I have been fortunate ever since. I will never be able to thank you enough.”

“And you think this is because of my flyers? Are you insane? $20,000 is too much.”

“It is yours to keep. If you rip up the check, I will go to the bank and come back with cash to make sure you take it.”

“I don’t even know what to do with that kind of money.”

“Just sleep on it, and you’ll know tomorrow.”

Annabel quickly gets up and turns to the shelf with her notebooks.

“Hmm, I know it’s here somewhere. Yes, here it is,” Annabel grabs an old, small black book from Moleskine with silver star stickers on the cover and flips through the pages.

“What are you looking for?” asks Jason.

“Do you recognize this?” Annabel hands Jason the book.

“Oh my gosh, you actually kept our notes for my exhibition flyer?! I remember this like it was yesterday.”

“Yes, as I told you, my notebooks are private. This one is very special to me. I keep my secret plans for the future here, and maybe a note or two about my admiration of you. I mean professionally of course. I really liked your work in college!”

“Sure,” Jason winks and smiles at Annabel.

“So your publisher wants you to talk about your private life. Since your memory is refreshed and focused on college days now, let’s start there and work our way to your time photographing war zones. And then move on to how you now raise awareness for how to make the world a better place!”

“That sounds like a plan. Mostly I felt so uncomfortable talking about my past with strangers. That’s why I had such a hard time and wanted to work with you.”

“You know what? You inspire me. Now I know what I want to do with my $20,000,” Annabel exclaims.

“Please tell me!”

“I want to do something good. I want to buy flowers and make my garden a beautiful pollination site for butterflies and bumblebees. I want to donate some money to build a playground for the children in town and invest in sustainable development, plus I can pay off my student loan. Money can’t buy me happiness, but it can sure set me free.”

“Sounds like a plan. I have some other ideas for your investments after you help me with my book. Though I can’t promise the next paragraph in your notebook will turn out with a happily ever after, I will do all I can to make it exciting.”

“I believe in happy endings in time, my friend. If things don’t end happily, it’s just because I’m not at the end yet.”