People, Places, and Pandemic

There is comfort in what you are familiar with. You must understand and be committed to making a break from what may cause a recurrence in your addictive behavior, a sidestep in the process of recovery.

Please understand that I call recovery a process because there is not a straight line from where you are to where you want to get to. Your journey will ebb and flow as you find your way to the addiction-free life you deserve.

When your focus is on being addiction free, there are going to be some hard choices you must make. When you are committed and focused on attaining the life you want and deserve, some people that are familiar to you won’t be with you. You must ask yourself three questions:

• Who is holding me back?

• Who is supporting me on my journey?

• Who can I connect with to support my journey?

As you reflect, who are the people in your world that were your drinking buddies? The ones that may have said “it’s early, have another” or “you’ve had a rough day, let’s go to the bar and forget our troubles.” Think of those in your world that may trigger a recurrence of your addictive behavior. Those drinking buddies might need to be left behind at the station as your recovery train moves forward.

No one is an island...

Think of your relationships like an old-fashioned scale (the ones you see in old western movies of prospectors getting their gold weighed). When the weight is not balanced, it tips to one side or the other – out of balance. It’s the same thing in your relationships; too many people in your world fueling your desire for the addictive behavior and you reduce the odds of attaining your addiction free life.

Removing those relationships without replacing them with healthy, supporting relationships and you’re still out of balance and that isolation and loneliness can fuel your addictive behavior as well.

Balance. You need support for what you’re going to accomplish, cheerleaders, to celebrate the victories along your journey as you build momentum, and challengers that will hold you accountable and focused on achieving the addiction-free life you deserve.

How you find those to support your journey starts with your close friends and family, those who love and care about you. From there it’s the support group or groups you attend regularly. What is it you like to do? Susan loves and appreciates the beauty of the outdoors, so she connected with a group of women with the same interest and regularly go hiking.

Meetup, Facebook, Instagram, My Breaking the Chains Addiction Recovery Support Group - there is any number of platforms available to connect with like-minded, committed individuals you can share your journey with.

What about people in your life you can’t leave behind?

Good question. There might be someone that is family or at work that is causing stress which then leads to your addictive behavior and leaving them behind might not be an option. That is where Therapy, Counseling, Psychiatry, and Coaching come into play. I encourage everyone to seek out professionals and discuss their situation – don’t go it alone and be an island.

Places

Like people, there are going to be places you need to move on from if they are going to trigger a recurrence in your addictive behavior. Watching your favorite sports team on TV at the bar might not be the best idea. Instead, how about inviting those supporting friends to your house for the game?

Time for three more questions:

• What places do I visit that are holding me back?

• What places do I visit that are supporting my journey?

• What places can I add to support my journey?

Remember that island? You cannot be isolated, human beings need interaction. Isolation leads to bad choices, more about that in a moment...

Apply the same reflective process used previously and if you are committed to achieving the addiction-free life you deserve you will find those places to support your journey. Need to exercise? Join a local gym. Want to improve yourself? Join a local Toastmasters International club. Shameless plug time, I’ve been a Toastmaster for 5 years. You’ll improve your speaking and presentation skills – and along the way, you’ll make friends and have a lot of fun, check them out at www.toastmasters.org.

The point is, there are plenty of options if you look for them.

Pandemic

What a time we have been through: COVID 19, COVID variants, masking, lockdowns, remote work, and on and on and on. The data from any number of resources is formidable. As an example, Psychiatry Research found in a survey of 5,931 U.S. Adults from April to September of 2020 that hazardous alcohol use rose from 21% to 40.7% and alcohol dependence rose from 7.9% to 29.1%.

You get the idea, and probably felt the anxiety that caused this yourself: Will I lose my job? My support group is not meeting! My support group is meeting online, and I don’t have a computer. I don’t know how to operate the technology to join online meetings! Working remotely...

Humans are made for connection, for relationship. Another island; working from home, alone, and the daily news fueling anxiety, fear, and depression.

We had to cope with a new normal and one of the ways to face the challenges and stress was alcohol, drugs, plus internet, online gaming, and gambling addictions. Go back to the beginning of this chapter – PEOPLE. Human beings need interaction, without it, our minds can go to dark places which triggers our need to be rescued from our addictive behavior of choice.

People and support are what we need. Seek out those close to you that can help you on your journey. Build healthy relationships that support your journey and remove relationships that inhibit your journey.

Addition and subtraction.

Coach Joe is a Certified Life Coach and 3 Vital Questions Certified Trainer that has a passion for helping those in Addiction Recovery and Adults with ADHD.

Have a question? Contact me: [email protected].