Ode to Myself and Strong Women Like Me

May 9, 2021

Ode to Myself

Too often, we don’t celebrate ourselves despite our mazing accomplishments in the face of adversity. I have had this thought on my mind and in my heart for some time and was going to wait until I achieved my next big accomplishment. However, life is too short to wait to celebrate yourself and this past year of living through a pandemic has taught me that lesson time and time again. We should celebrate ourselves and our accomplishments often, even if it means doing so alone.

My story began 26 years ago when I learned at the age of fifteen that I was pregnant. Based on teen pregnancy being an epidemic at that time, I was on track to become yet another statistic based on societal views. I was supposed to drop out of school and/or attend an alternative school so as not to be a distraction to others. I was never expected to have the successes that I have accomplished. Nonetheless, I gave birth at the age of fifteen, knowing all the while that failure was not an option. I faced adversity quite often, but never wavered. When my high school guidance counselor strongly urged that I attend an alternative school for girls in my “predicament,” I strongly and kindly objected (my mother raised me to have manners). I was a magnet school student and had worked too hard to settle. So, I remained in place until the day before I gave birth. I remember that day very vividly. I had a check up that morning and planned on going to school immediately afterwards. How is that for dedication?! Nonetheless, my life changed forever on May 12, 1995, just a mere two months shy of turning sixteen and I embraced it!

Thanks to great friends, I received my schoolwork while out of school and returned a few weeks later. Fortunately, I was on track with my assignments and was able to progress to the tenth grade. Then, the time came to apply to colleges (cue the dramatic music….). My guidance counselor strongly urged that I attend community college. I strongly and not so kindly declined. Want to know why…..? I will tell you. I do not take too kindly to being told what I cannot do and that is how I received the message from my guidance counselor as we had previous discussions about attending four-year colleges. Therefore, I applied to my top picks for colleges because I knew that I had a support system that also wanted me to succeed. I was accepted to all three of my top picks. I’ll just let that marinate for a quick second….

I chose the college I wanted to attend the most and was enrolled in Honors level classes. Not too bad for a teen mom, huh? Nonetheless, college was a different ballgame and although I did very well, I decided to take time off for personal reasons. When I did return two years later, I attended a community college. SURPRISE!!! The difference being that I made this choice based on how my life had changed during the time I took off. I had already proven that I could get accepted into the colleges of my choice, so I had that going for me. Nonetheless, I ultimately transferred my credits to a four-year college, which happened to be one of my top picks from high school. Honestly, how that happened was a little crazy in that I had simply inquired about one of their online accelerated degree programs and then found myself enrolled a few days later. The university stood by their motto in making your educational goals personal. I graduated with my Bachelors degree in Human Services on May 11, 2019 at the age of thirty-nine, two months shy of my fortieth birthday. Starting to see a pattern here…? It felt great to obtain my degree, not just because I had been in the field for seventeen years, but also because I had beat the odds of being a teen mom, single and African American. Oh, how can I forget, my socioeconomic status (SES for my human services people) also was indicative of someone less likely to obtain a college education and earn a degree. She did that!!

I did not stop there, though. I went on to enroll in my graduate program for Mental Health Counseling. Although I planned to take a break for a few months after graduation, God laughed at my plans because that was not what he had in store for me. So, I started a month after graduating. Although I was a week behind when I started, I was able to catch up. Almost two years later, I am slated to graduate soon and amidst a global pandemic no less!

Now, it’s not to say that my journey has been a smooth one because it hasn’t been. It has had many bumps in the road, twists, turns and plot twists. Yet I stayed the course even on the toughest days when I wanted to quit. However, I could not because I had some particularly important people (my children) watching me and looking to emulate the example I set. Quitting was not an option but crying along with praying were. And then I would be lifted from where I was, with more strength than I had before.

So what’s the moral of this story? I am glad that you asked because there is a few.

1) Be your fiercest advocate because no one else will advocate for you the way YOU do.

2) Be your biggest cheerleader even when/if others are not cheering for you.

3) Never let anyone dim your light. Shine as bright as you want to yet never forget to help others shine in the process.

4) It is never too late to start regardless of what your goal is. START

There are many untold stories like mine due to various reasons i.e. feeling boastful, shame, fear of being judged or simply feeling as though you do not have a voice. To that I say tell your story because you never know who it will inspire and encourage. While my story is far from over, I felt the need to share it with others thus far for those very reasons. In a sense, I am also bragging on my blessings because God has been too good to me for me not to. I have come a long way despite what was meant to break me. I am far from done as there is more that I wish to accomplish (and I will). Watch me work!! For those strong women who have faced adversity and managed to rise above and despite it all, you got this! Stay encouraged