Nicinville

I didn’t choose this. But I guess nobody chooses how their life goes. We all get a hand of cards to play, some are lucky and get a flush, most like me get nothing and leave with nothing. But hey we take whatever we can and do the best with it. When I was five years old my mom dropped me off at an Orphanage, “Saint Paula’s home for children” wasn’t a bad place but it certainly wasn’t for me. The homemade me leave when I was eighteen, not like I didn’t plan to anyways. Today, my landlord kicked me out of my little neat house. I guess no one is sympathetic enough to let someone stay when they haven’t paid rent for three months. I had a minimum wage job, can you guess it? Yes, a waitress cliché I know. But it seems like renting a house was only meant for the wealthy. I’ve been trying to fit in anyway a single twenty-five-year-old orphan can. Though with my luck I should have seen this coming. All of my things are gone, even my notebook. Now I only have my old, rustic backpack, and a ripped, rugged tan jacket with its impossible to zip zipper and all its glory. I know I have nowhere to go and no place to sleep. So I started walking without a destination, it seems like I never have a destination.

This morning it was sunny and warm, the light of the sun settling onto my dirty skin felt good, felt cozy. I wish I could say the same about the nights. This isn’t my first rodeo being homeless, I should know how it works by now, but It's always hard to take in. It’s dark, wet, and cold, the goosebumps began to crawl upon my body, bumpy and hair-raising. It felt like the universe could feel my emotions, scared, alone, and soaked with pain. As the rain poured, I came across a pen, ironic huh? Of course, me, the girl who lost her only friend, her notebook. And now I have a pen. I placed the pen into one of the small compartments of my backpack and continued to walk until sunrise. My eyelids began to droop low as I started to enter a town, I looked up to the road sign in front of me. “Nicinville” In big bold letters “fuck” I uttered under my breath I hate new places.

Everyone in this town looks like the American dream put together and happy. I quickly realized that I would stick out like a sore thumb so I rushed into a public bathroom, splashed my filthy, greased-up face with water. It seemed like the dirt and grime had found a permanent home on my face “look at you” I whispered to myself, my eyes filled with nothing but sadness. I got myself together and finally got decently clean. This place looked familiar, but it can’t be, I never go anywhere. As I walked out of the bathroom, I noticed an older woman sitting on a bench holding a little black notebook. Her downward wrinkles and crooked frown made it clear she wasn’t as happy as the rest of the people. She looked dejected and alone. In my mind that made her the most approachable, I’m sure no one else in this town would spare time for me. I was longing for human interaction, and it seems as if she was too.

I sat next to her, she leaned over and in a low, sweet voice spoke "why are you not smiling?". I was a little taken back by this, how do I respond? I tried to spit some sort of words out but she stopped me. "You aren’t from here, are you? My name is Gracelyn, but most call me Grace", I replied to her “My name is Savannah, I must look pretty out of place” I ended with a chuckle. She then squinted her eyes at me and laughed. "You must be a pioneer like me, we belong everywhere. You look hungry, I know a dinner that makes a great breakfast, I’m too old to cook!" she said with a hearty laugh. I started rummaging around in my backpack and quickly noticed I only had fifty cents, my new ironic pen, an old pair of cut-off jeans, a greased stained tank top, and a rusty paperclip, with embarrassment on my face I told her I couldn’t afford anything of the sort. She looked offended. "If I wanted someone to pay for my breakfast do you think I would have invited you?" We both started laughing, “lead the way Grace” I said in a much happier tone than when I arrived, we got up and started heading to the dinner.

We arrived and sat down in the retro-style booth, the waitress approached and asked Grace if she wanted her usual. Curiosity struck me what could be her usual. I could tell that she came to this dinner every day, but everyone looked surprised when she brought me. I ordered water and two slices of toast, lightly toasted. I didn’t want to overdo my welcome but I could have eaten the whole menu twice over if I was being honest. Grace stopped the waitress before she left to put in our order and told her to get me the "all or nothing" breakfast with orange juice. It was the most expensive on the menu and the picture for it was almost to die for. My cheek lit up in a bright rosy pink and my jaw dropped. She could tell how grateful I was. Grace looked me in my eyes and said "If you do not close your mouth flies are going to get in there. Did you think I would let a young lady eat nothing?”. I smiled, “Thank you so much, it's been a rough couple of days for me.” I told her. Her wrinkled cheeks cracked into a small smile. "Hey! I have a reputation to hold up”.

Our food came and the waitress began to load the table with plates, most for me. Grace took her black coffee in hand, and asked "why do you think they made our food the fastest? Because I keep them in business?". We talked for what seemed like hours and I told her about my accidental trip to "NicinVille" and what led me to where I am now. After we finished our food I wiped my face and washed my hands, I thanked her. Right before we walked through the dinner door she gave me a serious look. "Us pioneer ladies need to stick together. I have a spare room if you are interested?" I told her that would be great but I couldn’t bear to be such a burden. "Savannah if you refuse my offer that would be a burden, and I’ll be highly offended." I agreed, we got into her car and began to drive off.

We arrived and she asked me to stay in the car so she could tidy up a bit.” What could she be doing?” I thought to myself, I peeked out her tinted car window and saw her through her window. I noticed her putting away a handful of papers and her little black notebook. As I entered her home I noticed a library filled with hundreds of books. Grace spoke in her soft voice "This is my second greatest accomplishment in life. My first is this.” She pulled out a picture from her purse of a man in a military suit, a woman in a pretty long dress, and a small child with pig tales. “This is my family, or... this was my family” she ended her sentence more quietly than she started it. She holds up a cross necklace from around her neck hidden by her undershirt. “They are in a better place now. Let me show you around.” Her library room was the biggest in her house. Something felt off. What happened to them? She took me to the room I’d be sleeping in and gave me a big t-shirt that went down to my knees with nice fuzzy pajama bottoms. As soon as my head hit a pillow, I was out cold.

When I woke up, I found Grace sitting at her dining room table holding a baby picture of her daughter and sobbing. My mind raced a flashback of my mom leaving me, was this how she felt? Did she cry at my baby pictures? My stomach sank. She looked up at me “Savannah, where did you come from again?” I told her my story, the orphanage, my mother, my struggle to live while being by myself. “I’m sorry Savannah.” said Grace, now tears flowing heavier than before. “Sorry for what? You’ve been better to me than almost anyone I’ve ever met!” I exclaimed to her. “I haven’t been entirely truthful since we met Savannah, I just wasn’t sure if I was right.” said Grace. “Right about what?!” the confusion in my voice could be heard. “Grace your mother was my daughter.” she sobbed “She was so young when she had you, and so stupid, I begged her not to take you to that godforsaken orphanage! I told her I’d take you! but insisted she didn’t want to be a burden.”. What was I hearing? I was frozen, this lady in front of me was my grandmother? My stomach felt the flutter of the hundreds of butterflies that laid dormant, my heart beating like a drum out of my chest. Grace continued “ She was going to come back for you! But seven years ago she passed, she always regretted not keeping you Savannah! I couldn’t believe it, but when we sat in the dinner and you told me about yourself I knew!”

I wanted to fall to my knees, this was too much for me to absorb, I still didn’t speak. Grace stood up from the table and wrapped her arms around me, “I’m so sorry honey” she said softly. My eyes too began to pour out tears, I embraced her. She looked me in the eyes and said “I have something you’ll want to see” she started walking to a small desk, she opened a drawer and pulled out her little black notebook. She placed them into my hands and started to speak. “This notebook was your mom's favorite thing in the world, she carried it around everywhere, would go hysterical without it”, I opened the notebook and dropped down a rectangle piece of paper, it dropped to the floor. I picked it up and turned it around, it was a check, not just any check, a check for me, and a check for $20,000. “This was supposed to go to you when your mother passed, but since you were already out of the orphanage I didn’t have any address for you.” she said in a guilty voice. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say, should I scream or shout or cry? But at that moment, the only thing I could do was hug Grace again, I whispered into her ear “Thank you grandma” tears still dripping from my cheeks.

This was a year ago, safe to say my cards had changed, and not only did I have a new apartment, jacket, notebook, and even a car, the most important thing to me was my new family. Me and Grace still get breakfast every morning, because we pioneers need to stick together.