My Life: Things I Wouldn't Change

I believe that each of us has spent some amount of time reflecting on our past.

Decisions we've made.

Relationships we've formed.

The lifestyle we've chosen.

We might even look back at it all and ask ourselves,

"What would I like to change?" or "What should've I done differently?".

I've found myself asking similar questions. Whether it be while taking a walk, driving late at night, or taking a shower, these questions seem to find their way into my thoughts. I've often wondered about the impact of my life choices. What if I chose to take another job? What if I chose a different path for my education? How has my choice of friends affected me? Etc. Reviewing the past can remind us of the good (or bad) choices that got us to where we are as well as made us who we are.

And yet, we can't change the past.

We have to live our choices.

The sole realistic option is to change our present actions to affect our future. We can make plans to better ourselves. Go to the gym. Eat healthier. Spend more time on our hobbies. Start a new career. We can decide to make a difference as we move forward in life.

But that still doesn't change the past.

I've often contemplated how much easier my life would be today if I could go back in time and do it over, knowing what I know now.

Then again, I am who I am today because of my life experience. This has led me to ponder the question,

"What about the past would I like to keep the same?"

Here are some examples from my life of I wouldn't change:

Switching Schools

The summer after my sophomore year in high school, my family moved to a neighboring city a few miles South. A new high school was scheduled to open that year, about a half-mile away from the house we moved into. My parents told me that I could either continue at my current high school or start at the new one.

I had a decision to make. Should I leave my friends? Will there be better opportunities at a new school? Do I want to be the new kid? These are some of the questions I tried to answer.

I ultimately decided to start my junior year at the new school. I felt like I could get through the school week and then see my friends on the weekends. I might even make some new friends in the process. No big deal, right?

I was wrong. I hated it. didn't know anyone. tried my best to meet people and make connections yet, I had a difficult time in doing so. felt alone as went from class to class. sat by myself in the cafeteria during lunchtime. As much as I tried to make myself feel included, I knew that I didn't exactly have anyone to talk to.

Why I wouldn't change it:

Being the new kid in high school was a rough experience no doubt. I've often looked back on it and wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I never expected it'd be me in that situation. Still, wouldn't trade it for an easier time. The experience I gained was invaluable. I felt like it taught me how to be independent and get outside my comfort zone, when it came to meeting new people. I gradually made friends and I'm glad that I decided to switch schools. believe that it helped me learn how to make new friends and be content, even when I feel alone.

Experience with Sports

I've been playing sports for as long as I can remember. There was always a ball available to kick, throw or shoot around the house. Our neighbors had a basketball court in their backyard. I used to play Horse or 21 with my friends and siblings until it got dark out. When I got a little older, I would walk to the nearby recreation center and play pickup with whomever I could. I later played basketball and volleyball in high school.

I remember how hard I used to train for basketball. used to lift weights, jump rope, practice my shooting and handles almost every day. 'd also do workouts with my dad. He played basketball in college and has been my full-time coach. I'd wake up in the morning to go practice. Sometimes I'd stay out late playing pickup. I liked to work hard. I loved to compete.

Why I wouldn't change it:

My time spent playing sports wasn't always peaches and cream. There were injuries, disappointments, and failures that came about. I now look back at the adversity I faced and feel appreciative. I'm thankful for the time I spent practicing with my dad. I'm thankful for the friends, sense of accomplishment, and happiness it brought me over the years. The experience I gained has helped me learn resilience and become a better player.

Relationships: Finding Reciprocity

As the old saying goes, "It's not what you know but who you know." I've found this statement to be true, more so in the sense that we can enjoy a higher quality of life depending on who we associate with. We can create interdependence in our relations.

Each person we meet can impact us. The positive and negative impressions from others can alter the way we think. We may have made decisions or determined what is acceptable based on the opinions or influences of others. We may have asked for another person's perspective to help us make a choice. We learn from each other's experiences. We connect with those we can relate with.

I've been fortunate to have interacted with some wonderful people during my life. I am still friends with of them. I've also had the chance to meet some that I'd deem "not so" wonderful. Most of us can probably relate with the latter.

Why I wouldn't change it:

Regardless of the times I've been mistreated, I've endeavored to be positive about it. This is, of course, much easier in principle than in practice. Criticism, denial, disapproval, or any sort of negativity brought upon by others can be hard to take. I don't wish to relive my encounters with any of those "not so" wonderful individuals yet the exposure has helped prepare me for similar situations where I was able to navigate much more effectively. The takeaway from those scenarios has been more beneficial than detrimental. These experiences have helped me to be constructive and find people worth my time.

Going Forward

Reflecting on our life experiences is a great way for us to find clarity. Sometimes we learn to make better decisions. At other times, our circumstances may not allow us to choose, and we have to deal with whatever we're facing. As we try to adopt a mindset of gratitude, we can look at our past to find peace and purpose.