Making the Decision to Simply Be

The world is full of young, impressionable, and oftentimes talented artists. Best known as the group of eccentrics we all meet in High School, artists are everywhere and anywhere. But making the jump from an individual producing work we love, to a paid professional is a big one. And it's not something most people can afford either. After graduation, the world feels bright and new and full of opportunities. But the daunting reality is that you will struggle to get where you want to be. But that's just a sign of your success. If life is easy, you're not doing it right.

For years I've been attempting to go to school for Sequential Art. I'm a storyteller at heart, and so comics and graphic novels were a natural inclination from the time I was in Elementary school. It was in my sophomore year of college that I really began looking into the idea. This led to a surprising and somewhat disheartening discovery.

Out of thousands of institutes of higher education within the United States, only a select few offer a program in Sequential Art. Of those schools, most if not all are privates institutions. And as we all know, private equals shelling out tens of thousands of dollars per year for an education that is debatably better than what public institutions can offer. A few schools of note in this regard are Columbus College of Art and Design, Savannah College of Art and Design, and Minneapolis Colleges of Art and design. If you have ever looked into sequential art as a major, there is no doubt in my mind that these schools popped up on your google search.

Coming from a life of poverty and being a first-generation college student, these schools were out of the realm of possibility. So, I settled for the Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design. Though they have no Sequential Art program, they do have a well-rounded 2D Animation curriculum. But of course, my hardships didn't end with choosing a more affordable school. At RMCAD, supplies are out-of-pocket expenses - upwards of 300$ per semester.

Remember how I said life isn't easy, and if it is, you're obviously not doing it right? Well, here's where that comes in. The people in my life know I don't have the funds to cover these out-of-pocket expenses. In their minds, I should wait to attend RMCAD. I should get my ducks in a row, and come back to the idea. There is nothing wrong with that option. But you know what? It's not the option for me. It's not right for me.

I was never part of that eccentric group of people in High School. The ones that wore bright colors or had fun hairstyles in rainbow colors. In fact, I didn't have a group. In all honesty, I barely went to school at all. It has been said that famous artists of the past struggled with varying degrees of mental illness. This is something that people liked to tell me growing up. As if to say "they struggled too. See? You're not crazy. You're just a tortured artist."

As it turns out, making friends or even graduating from High School isn't so easy when you're just barely holding your head above water. I was afraid of everything. Nothing ever worked out. Life was hard, and it seemed like I was sitting on the sidelines, feeling all the pain of living, but none of the joy. Living is a choice I make every day. And I have to take it one day at a time, or else I lose hope and descend into a downward spiral.

I am a product of my experiences. And in my life, fear has kept me from feeling all that life has to offer. From experiencing all the colors around me in every sense of the phrase. Maybe this is why I choose to make my own way. I will never have all the funds to go to art school. I will never be "ready" to take that leap. And everyone in my life will continue to find reasons for me to wait and be afraid. It's not their fault. Just as I am a product of my experiences, so are they. But I'm done waiting for the right time. I'm done waiting for someone else to make my decisions for me. And most of all? I'm done waiting for life to happen instead of stepping out of my comfort zone and simply living it.

Yes, I'm going to art school. Do I have it all figured out? Of course not. But I will find a way through every obstacle and every hurdle. Because at least then, I know I will be living. Pain and joy should always battle for dominance in my mind. And that's how it should be.