Making Changes

Living through the Covid nightmare is affecting everyone. Lives have been turned upside down. Many people have suffered heavy financial losses while others have lost loved ones. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been affected by COVID. I am no exception to this statement. Lately I’ve been thinking about the person I used to be.

The old me

Before the pandemic I had a job where I was active all day long. I walked an average of around 10,000 steps per day just while I was at work. That wasn’t all I did, though. I also trained in Krav Maga. My training schedule fluctuated over the years, but at one point I was attending seven Krav Maga classes every week. I stayed on that training schedule for about a year before I was in an automobile accident where my right shoulder was torn up so badly that I was told I needed surgery. Unfortunately, even if I could have afforded the surgery there was an expected recovery time of six months during which time I would not be able to work. As a single parent taking any time off work without pay, let alone six months, was quite simply not an option. I laid awake at night angry about everything I had lost over an accident that was so preventable (the person who hit me was looking at his phone and smashed into my truck).

I ended up taking about two years off from Krav Maga, letting my body heal as much as it could on its own. I got a stem cell injection which was only able to somewhat improve the condition of my shoulder. I also started doing weight training, which I believe helped more than anything else. Sleeping during this time was difficult because of the pain in my shoulder.

After a couple of years I decided I was ready to start training in Krav Maga again. There were some exercises that were too painful for me to do, and there were other activities that should be painful and weren’t, which I was told was not a good thing, so I tried to avoid them in order to prevent further damage to my shoulder. I eased back into a routine where I did some weight training and some Krav Maga. I soon came to the realization that spending the amount of time training that I had before probably wasn’t a good balance. I started doing Krav Maga two or three times a week and lifting weights a few days a week. I definitely wasn’t in the same physical condition I was before my accident, but I was pretty happy with my progress. I wasn’t in as much pain from my shoulder when I tried to sleep, but it was still uncomfortable and I had trouble getting into a good sleeping position.

Then, the pandemic happened.

Right away I was furloughed from my active job. My Krav Maga studio also closed down. Parks and gyms closed down too. I quickly discovered that I could still go to the beach and walk everyday, though. Many people were literally staying in their homes at all times, so social distancing wasn’t just possible, it was unavoidable.

I was able to sleep whenever I wanted during the quarantine, but I found that I enjoyed going to bed and getting up early each day. I kept up my daily routine of going to the beach and walking several miles every day until about a year into the pandemic when I broke my toe. I could no longer go to the beach and walk because I could hardly walk at all if there was any pressure on my toe. It took quite a while for me to be able to walk comfortably. By the time I could walk without too much pain I had completely lost all momentum in my life. I really didn’t leave my house very often, so I sat and watched TV until late at night and slept late every day. I was applying for jobs on a regular basis, but outside of that I didn’t have any reason to get out of bed most days.

Trying to get back to “normal.”

I was eventually able to start walking on the beach again, but I had gotten so far out of the habit of moving that I didn’t go very often. I started swimming in the ocean a few times each week during the warmer months. The majority of my physical activities came to an abrupt halt when I was finally able to find a job after being out of work for a very long time.

My new job is not only a desk job, I do it remotely. I love not having to commute to work, but I have really gotten into the habit of not leaving the house much. I have developed a routine of getting up in the morning, working my eight hours, and making dinner before I sit down to watch TV for the evening. I also continue to watch TV past the time I should go to bed in order to get enough rest. My life has become really focused around working and waiting for the next workday to start.

The new me

After months of not enough rest or physical activity I am ready to make a change. My life is an endless loop of dragging myself out of bed after too little sleep to sit in an office chair all day followed by sitting on a couch all evening. I’m ready to prioritize sleep and physical activity by going to bed by ten o’clock every night and leaving the house to take a walk at least one evening each week in addition to my weekend walks.

I am tempted to make a resolution to go back and start attending Krav Maga classes and lifting weights again in an effort to get back to the person I used to be. But I’m not the person I used to be. The last two years have changed me and I need to find the best way to move forward.

The reality is that if I can just start out gently by getting more sleep and moving more it will improve my odds of making actual progress. The trick to making this work will be having patience with the new me.