Lessons a drug addict can teach you.

"Life Lessons from a Recovering Addict"

At the age of 22, I ventured into the realm of cocaine. Although I had been a heavy drinker and often binged on alcohol until I was oblivious, that first experience with cocaine marked a pivotal moment. At the time, I stood at a crossroads: I had just finished university, broken up with a long-term boyfriend, and had to navigate life without the safety nets of education and the relationship. My decision was ill-fated—I opted to become a partygoer. I took a job in the hospitality industry, where drug use and drinking were rampant. The allure of fitting in and my inability to sustain that lifestyle through drinking alone led me to that first line of cocaine.

A quote by the astute Irish biblical scholar, Alec Mocha, succinctly captures my path: 'Wrong choices stem from avoiding the right ones when they seem unimportant.' This encapsulated my trajectory. By the time I realized the gravity of making right choices, my self-will was shattered, and I was lost. Fast forward a couple of years, and I found myself drinking daily, using drugs not just on weekends, but throughout the week. The people who initially introduced me to cocaine were now warning me to slow down. A colleague even remarked that I looked increasingly like a 'crackhead.'

After a distressing incident involving a black eye and fragmented memories of the previous night, with the support of my loved ones, I discovered a support group for cocaine addicts. On April 22, 2014, I took the first steps toward sobriety. Nearly four years later, I remain on that journey. My decision to join the support group wasn't driven by a serious intent initially; I expected it to be amusing, a tale for a pub gathering. Yet, I found myself among individuals who understood my feelings before I even voiced them. They listened without judgment, accepting me even in my broken state. This kind of connection resonated with what Johann Hari highlighted in his renowned TED Talk on addiction—that the antidote to addiction is connection. However, connection alone wasn't enough; it was the 12 steps of recovery that sustained my sobriety.

The 12-step process, initially penned by Dr. Bob Smith and Bill Wilson, founders of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1930s, offers a blueprint for living. It serves individuals who grapple with managing intense emotions, challenging circumstances, and addictive behaviors like substance abuse. I'll outline these steps, my journey through them, and the transformation they brought about.

Step 1: Acknowledging our powerlessness over addiction and the unmanageability of our lives. In my distorted view, even as a drug addict, I recognized the chaos consuming my life. Cocaine's effects included vision problems, numbness, nosebleeds, memory loss, and a facial twitch. Step 2 and 3 involve believing in a higher power and relinquishing our will to that power. Embracing my limitations and understanding I wasn't the center of the universe was liberating. Whether through faith or shared purpose, recognizing a power greater than ourselves is humbling.

Steps 4 and 5 entail an honest self-assessment, admitting our wrongs to a higher power and another person. This was challenging work; confronting my fears, my hurtful actions, my past encounters, and resentments was intense. Sharing these with someone helped me release self-hatred, realizing forgiveness is liberating. Step 6 and 7 involve readiness to shed defects of character and seeking their removal. It was apparent that fear fueled my character flaws, driving my decisions. Awareness enabled me to curb this fear and course-correct.

Steps 8 and 9 entail listing those we've harmed and making amends, except when it might cause further harm. This was difficult; apologizing to people I'd hurt was humbling. Some accepted my apologies gracefully, others didn't reply, but it wasn't about their reactions—it was about my integrity. Steps 10 and 11 require continuous self-assessment, promptly admitting wrongs, and seeking improvement through prayer and meditation. I practice self-reflection daily, make amends sooner, and engage in spiritual practices that promote self-love.

Step 12 is about a spiritual awakening, prompting us to help others and apply these principles to all aspects of life. This awakening is indescribable, and it empowered me to establish a recovery program for struggling individuals. Witnessing them transform into inspirations for others validated the profound impact of these steps. Embracing these principles doesn't necessitate hitting rock bottom; it's about accepting our limitations, seeking support, and striving for growth.

If my story resonates, and if you suspect any addiction—whether to substances, behaviors, or relationships—remember that seeking help is vital. You're not alone, and there are resources, charities, support groups, and communities eager to assist you. Your life matters, and you deserve freedom. Thank you."