Know your owners and victims

The people you motivate will tend to divide themselves into two

categories: owners and victims.

This distinction comes from Steve’s Reinventing Yourself, which

revealed in detail how owners are people who take full responsibility for

their happiness, and victims are always lost in their unfortunate stories.

Victims blame others and victims blame circumstance and victims are

hard to deal with.

Owners own their own morale. They own their response to any

situation. (Victims blame the situation.)

At a recent seminar, a company CEO named Marcus approached

Steve at the break:

“I have a lot of victims working for me,” Marcus said.

“It’s a part of our culture,” Steve answered.

“Yeah, I know, but how can I get them to recognize their victim

tendencies?”

“Try something else instead,” Steve said. “Try getting excited when

they are not victims. Try pointing out their ownership actions; try

acknowledging them when they are proactive and self-responsible.”

“Okay. What are the best techniques to use with each type of

person?” Marcus asked. “I mean, I have both. I have owners, too. Do you

treat them differently?”

“With the owners in your life, you don’t need techniques. Just

appreciate them,” Steve said. “And you will. With the victims, be patient.

Hear their feelings out empathetically. You can empathize with their

feelings without buying in to their victim’s viewpoint. Show them the other

view. Live it for them. They will see with their own eyes that it gets better

results.”

“Can’t I just have you come in to give them a seminar in ownership?”

Marcus said.

“In the end, even if we were to train your staff in ownership thinking,

you would still have to lead them there every day, or it would be easy to

lose. Figure your own ways to lead them there. Design ways that

incorporate your own personality and style into it. There is no magic

prescription. There is only commitment. People who are committed to

having a team of self-responsible, creative, upbeat people will get exactly

that. Leaders whose commitment isn’t there won’t get it. The three basic

things you can do are: 1) Reward ownership wherever you see it. 2) Be

an owner yourself. 3) Take full responsibility for your staff’s morale and

performance.”

Marcus looked concerned. We could tell he still wasn’t buying

everything.

“What’s troubling you?” Steve asked.

“Don’t be offended.”

“Of course not.”

“How do I turn around a victim without appearing to be that annoying

‘positive thinker’?”

“You don’t have to come off as an annoying positive thinker to be a

true leader. Just be realistic, honest, and upbeat. Focus on opportunities

and possibilities. Focus on the true and realistic upside. Don’t gossip or

run down other people. There is no reliable trick that always works, but in

our experience, when you are a really strong example of ownership, and

you clearly acknowledge it and reward it and notice it in other people

(especially in meetings, where victims can hear you doing it), it gets

harder and harder for people to play victim in that setting. Remember that

being a victim is essentially a racket. It is a manipulation. You don’t have

to pretend that it’s a valid point of view intellectually, because it is not.”

“Okay, I see. That sounds doable,” Marcus said. “But there’s one new

employee I’m thinking about. He started out great for a few months, but

now he seems so lost and feels betrayed. That’s his demeanor, anyway.

How do I instill a sense of ownership in him?”

“You really can’t ‘instill’ it,” said Steve. “Not directly. Ownership, by its

nature, is grown by the owner of the ownership. But you can encourage it,

and nourish it when you see it. You can nurture it and reward it. You can

even celebrate it. If you do all those things, it will appear. Like a flower in

your garden. You don’t make it grow, but if you do certain things, it will

appear.”