Inspired By A Model

When you’re a kid staring aimlessly at the TV set after school, you wonder about all of the amazing things you can be when you grow-up. Your eyes are full of wonder and your imagination runs wild with possibilities. My parents told me I could be anything if I tried hard enough. I watched America’s Next Top Model (ANTM) for hours on end. I wanted to be a model. I thought that I could be just like self-made fashion icon Tyra Banks. It never occurred to me that I was too plus size for the fashion industry until I actually got there. I had always had low-self esteem, but I thought that if I could break the mold on plus-size modeling, I would be a fashion icon before I turned thirty.

I would spend hours watching its host, Tyra Banks, put the contestants through the grueling boot camp of reality TV for an insane prize package that would launch their modeling careers. I wanted to be one of them, Tyra inspired me to love myself and to actually try my hand at plus-size modeling. I went to acting classes, makeup classes, and runway classes for two months. I made it all the way to professional headshots before realizing that I didn’t want to be in the limelight, but behind it. It was those classes that made me confident with my body and the person that I am. I never would have tried them if it weren’t for Tyra Banks hosting ANTM.

I think there came a point when I was about eighteen or so when I was watching an episode of ANTM and I had an idea for a costume. I had my mom make me a pink and black plaid skirt and I got a white crop top that tied off. I paired it with platform mary jane heels and pigtails and wore it to a science-fiction convention. That was me coming out of my shell and it was kind of my defining moment for my self-confidence. I felt like I could walk into a room as if I owned it. I had heads turning from all directions and to date, it is still the boldest costume I have ever worn.

Now my confidence is much more subtle, I smile, I laugh, and I don’t even care if I have makeup on or not. If Tyra taught me anything, it’s to appreciate who you are on the inside as well as on the outside. If you believe in yourself, you can make others believe in you with little more than a glance. There is a certain pride in knowing that you don’t need makeup to look beautiful. Or even using makeup to give the illusion that you aren’t wearing any at all. My costumes aren’t as bold as that one I wore to that particular science fiction convention. The knowledge and confidence boost that comes with being able to pull off a costume of that magnitude even once, brings a sense of comfort and a sense of inspiration that can’t be replicated.

Those classes made me realize I didn’t want to be in the limelight, but behind the scenes. They actually led me to my college major. I chose Hospitality and Ecotourism so that one day I might be able to host a Fashion Show or Science Fiction Convention. I wanted to be the person who brings events to life. I graduated with an Event Planner’s Certification and an AAS degree in Hospitality and Ecotourism just in time for the Covid-19 pandemic. I admire people like Tyra who even during a pandemic, still found a way to reach their audiences and continue to inspire others.

The biggest lesson here is love. Love yourself, and love from others will follow. If you are confident in who you are, other people will be too. It can be learned, you just have to give yourself permission to not be perfect and try to make every day better than yesterday in some way. It’s not magic, or science, it’s just…being human.