In 2022 Resolve to Heal

I have mixed emotions about New Year's resolutions. 

Part of me sees them as a collective form of "woo-woo" magic - a passive "new year, new me" mantra where we say things that sound "good," in the spirit of catchy Facebook posts. 

Another side of me - the one who thinks anytime is a great time to start again, says "YES!" to resolutions of all kinds - even at the New Year. 

In January's past, I've played ALL the greatest hits of resolutions: lose weight, pay down debt, run a marathon, meditate more, and so the like. 

In time, I became an expert in constructing the "action" based resolution,  a real pro at telling other people what I intended to "do." 

Now, I wasn't lying , and my intentions were good. Ultimately, I did want to do those things (and some of them to a greater or lesser extent, I did). 

But, mostly, my action-packed resolution list  started strong, rolling out of January 1st like a house of fire , only to fizzle by mid-February. 

Each time I feigned shock and disappointment but quickly "let it go," as I looked around and saw that almost everyone else was "fizzling" too. 

But I was curious: why do these resolutions keep failing ? Why can't I follow through? Why can't I DO the things I want to DO? 

Somewhere along the way, it hit me : the "do" was the problem. Creating "action" resolutions didn't address the root cause of the issue. 

Take debt repayment. That's a worthy resolution. So, I focused on the action steps of the process: spend less, pay bills. But, what I didn't look at was why I created the debt to begin with or the cause of my overspending.

 The desire to "do" differently was pointless because I ignored the deeper issues.

So this year, I'm ditching the obligatory "to-do" list of New Year's resolutions. Instead, I'm getting curious about what's going on underneath. 

I still have things I want to "do," but I'm going beyond action steps to create resolutions that I believe will make change possible in those areas of needed growth. 

For instance, I am recommitting to my health and fitness journey to lose weight. However, I know my real issues aren't surface-level. So a simple proclamation: "I won't overeat, and I will work out regularly," might as well be "I want to sprout wings and fly" for me. 

The real issues are much deeper, rooted in early messaging. To be effective, my resolutions need to focus on unlearning: 

1. joyful or painful: strong emotions are a signal to "eat."
2. binge eating is effective self-medication for depression.
3. Self-love means unlimited access to food.

And learning: 

1. I don't need to avoid my emotions; it is safe to sit with them.
2. Healthy foods and regular exercise are strategies for coping with depression.
3. Self-love requires boundaries.

Ultimately, effective resolutions go beyond results-oriented actions to mindset shifts that encourage meaningful change.

If you're tired of resolutions that fall apart,  maybe it's time to ditch your first of the year "to-do" list, striving for more in 2022.

Take a moment to reflect:

1. Why have these resolutions failed in the past? 
2. How did I end up in this situation, needing to change X?
3. What mindsets and limiting beliefs are keeping me stuck in this area? 

Answering questions like these and others that dive below the surface to explore the root causes of unfulfilled resolutions is essential to transformation.

Even if all you do in 2022 is seek the answers to the questions, you will be one step closer to the greatest resolution of all : healing.

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this story, please hit "subscribe" or show a little extra love with a tip. I appreciate you in advance for any support. You can follow me on Twitter @cadenzacreates.

This is a revised version of this article. I repurposed the piece for Vocal Media. You can find the original version on Medium. Read it here.

©Heather Martin, 2021