If you are in your middle 20's, read this.

The middle 20 years of age... As a child, I wanted to grow up really fast. School workload and endless, pointless drama seemed like forever. I wanted, we wanted to grow up. That life seems more care free, full of fashionable experiments, the pouring rain of monies allowing you to feel comfortable. Everything feels aligned. In place.

Life isn't pretty. Let's start there. You had this dream in the back of your mind. "I want to be a lawyer", she said. No, that's because you're confused with a fixed school system that didn't provide a variety of modules to begin with. Being the science student was the 'it' choice. Nobody would be standing next to you and say your way of thinking is stupid. People fed you lies. "Who cares about interest? It won't get you anywhere in life. At the end of the day, the way to survive in life is a good job. Good income. Throw away all of your dreams that won't roll in the cash." That's what these grown up people always told me and I believed them.

I'm sitting here writing this post on my company's laptop working as a legal intern. I'm grateful for this opportunity but yeah, that's just how far I can go (now, Moana's theme song is stuck in my head and i'm crying inside because the furthest I can go is here). I decided to proceed with law school and ended up with a degree in this because politics was fairly interesting at that time I was stuck in science stream. It was more interesting to me so jumping there seemed like the easier choice. My sisters are already qualified doctors, none of these science stuffs, especially Physics (which I sucked at the most) was gonna make me become one of them. Throughout law school and after, I realized that litigation and practicing as an advocate & solicitor weren't my interest either. I did sit for the killer CLP exam (by killer, I mean extremely difficult) and almost passed. But yes, that's the case. I almost passed and didn't make it, so as for now I'm just a person who happens to have a law degree. Old people would call me 'pointless' and 'wasted opportunity' because I didn't want to pursue any further at the moment. This is how far I go.

I'm sure many of you can relate to what I'm feeling now but in your own story. Getting a degree in something that won't guarantee you a promising career. I've had endless conversations with my peers about not getting job offers and the stressful job hunting process. Getting turned down after interviews. Not being good enough for the employers. Being unemployed for months give you space for every negative element you could think of. Under employment is another issue. You got a job! However, it's for a position lower than what you can actually offer and your qualification. It's devastating and disappointing. You're mad at yourself and the world. It seems like the economy is glitching into a corrupted file. Is there really no option fit for me? Internship is the only way to save my life and feed my cats, pay my bills. I need to survive and thank goodness they chose me to work here although it's not much. I still have something to spare for food. I'm grateful with what's on my plate right now.

Let's move on to social media. It started when I was pretty young (Remember Friendster, anyone?) Honorable mentions are MySpace, Tumblr and the old Facebook. Yes, Facebook used to be so much fun but I just can't stay on that page anymore. Twitter all the way. Instagram is the breakthrough of all. It started as a platform to share your memories and happiness with your friends through digital pictures. Now, it is where most careers are formed. Social media influencers and online businesses are taking over. What's mind boggling is that all of these are fun but can sometimes be too damaging to look at (online business is an exception). We have these pictures on Instagram with everyone looking flawless, going on this beautiful escapade trips, enjoying their lunch-time with employees etc. Tell me, how many times have you ask yourself how old you have become after seeing your friends' engagement, wedding and baby pictures?! "I'm 24, confused as hell with my life, but people seem to have their lives figured out. I'll never be like them", she said.

TURN OFF THAT APP RIGHT AWAY ONCE YOU REALIZE YOU'RE TALKING TO YOURSELF THAT WAY. It's only gonna get more worse from there. I find this a good way to practice self-love (other than social media cleanse). Comparison destroys our self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. The reality is nobody's life is perfect. People show what they want you to see online. Behind the scenes, they won't show you how many times they've attempted to take a selfie. The fight that they had with their partner before posting that lovely picture of them together. The expensive aftertaste of the meal that they had posted on stories. That's the reality. But, what we can do about it is control how we perceive these things we see. Don't let the 'social media life' consume your real life. If you find yourself feeling negative about it, take breaks. Nobody owes anyone anything. Post the picture that you want. Post that singing video you want. The vlog that you've worked hard on filming and editing. We should be learning to control our own thought process and feelings, we can't control how others think and live.

So, if you're in your middle 20's and you're feeling similar things, it's okay. Life is full of work for everybody (except for the rich and capitalists, sorry not sorry). Keep going. Keep thriving. Don't give up on working to better yourself. It's still a long way. Funny isn't it? We are only 20 years into our lives. Barely even reach half a century. All the best everyone.