How to increase self motivation

"The cure for jealousy is to see what you are: dissatisfaction with yourself." ~ Joan Didion

I like to see myself as a real person. I think it sounds good to recommend fighting jealousy with gratitude. Like, "Don't focus on what you don't have - just count your blessings!"

I see that this is a wise suggestion and that we can all be happy as long as we focus on the abundance that lies ahead.

But I also realize that this is not the perfect solution.

We are made to look at two things in life:

Solutions to problems — physical, emotional, spiritual and professional

More - more meaning, more love, more fun, more recognition; the list goes on and on

We thrive as a society because we are constantly thinking of ways to improve how we work, how we communicate, and how we produce. This supports almost everything we do, from engaging in personal relationships to starting a partnership in our companies.

We solve problems by identifying them. That usually means focusing on what is missing, and the most accessible way to do that is to look at other people. Or in simple words, to create your own sense of deficiency depending on someone else’s benefit.

Is jealousy the way to happiness? Personally, no. Dwelling on the things that other people have is not going to get you anywhere in life. But it is human nature, and we all experience it at the same time.

So, instead of raising jealousy it is a shame - and you have to fight it by admitting you are already lucky - I have a few suggestions to use it to grow and win:

1. Make your jealousy wise.

The Dalai Lama said that sometimes it is not possible to get what you want with amazing luck. I agree. We often do not know what we really want. We know what looks good on paper. We know what to look for, according to the community. But most of the time when you are jealous of someone, it has nothing to do with what you have. It's about how you think having that can make you feel.

Suppose you are jealous of your neighbor's money - his big house, his fast car, and his condition. Maybe you think it makes him feel proud, successful, and important. Circumstances, you are not jealous of his six-hour working week. Or the limited time he has for personal relationships. Or debts that can be heavy and stressful if something happens to his salary.

Take your jealousy and point it out. Are you jealous because someone else has something you want, or because you want to feel better and think they are doing it?

2. Let your jealousy get the better of you.

After you see that some people don’t have everything you think you want, the next logical step is to find out what that really is. What is jealousy really? Your sister's boyfriend or the feeling of being your own? Your cousin's job or sense of accomplishment? Your uncle's schedule or sense of humor?

You can have everything you want in life if you identify exactly what those things are and accept that they may look different to you than they do to someone else.

Once you have found happiness looks exactly like instant life, or accomplishment is exactly the same as flash work, draw yourself in the impossible corner. Rather than fretting over the possibilities of a preoccupied mind, you are simply putting yourself in the place of someone else.

Find out what you want and let it be yours.

3. Let jealousy make you trustworthy.

Whether you want to feel a certain way, achieve something, or have something you don't have, the question remains: What stops you? What are you waiting for in creation?

Is it about the obstacles you really face? Or does your fear hold you back? Is it about your limitations, even if you are facing some kind of resistance? Do you really believe you can have it? Or do you think you are not smart enough, knowledgeable enough, or well connected to make it happen?

When jealousy is toxic it is usually because you want something you do not believe you can have.