How Starting the Morning Over Can Help Improve Your Day

My morning started off all wrong. Before I’d even opened my eyes, I heard my children squabbling. By the time I managed to get out of bed and stumble to the coffee pot, I was on the border of being cranky. But, I kept telling myself, it wasn’t too late to have a good day.

I was still telling myself this two hours later when I was staring at the same words on the screen because my morning looked like making breakfast, drinking coffee, sitting down to work, and every other minute dealing with kids with cabin fever. The rain poured down outside, and I sank into my bad mood. Before I knew it, I was joining in with some noise of my own.

After lunch, I was scrolling through social media when I came across comedian J. P. Sears’s video about having a terrible day. It was the perfect day to watch it, and I had to laugh as I had already completed a number of the necessary prerequisites to having a terrible day. I couldn’t exactly call it a win.

There’s a strategy I’ve been known to use with my kids. On days that start off wrong and keep going downhill, I will occasionally send them back to bed for a do-over. They will literally climb into bed, pull up the covers, and “wake up” all over again.

We’ll try again, and if we don’t always get it right, at least we’re trying.

Maybe we can’t all get back into bed and climb back out of it, but there are still benefits to calling a do-over for the day where instead of repeating what we’ve done, we try to have a good day from that point forward. It may not make up for a bad morning, but it might rescue the rest of the day.

I can’t give an exact guide for how this is done. What works for me might not work for you. But here are some suggestions to take a tough day and transform it into a good one.

Embrace humor.

By the time I was finished with the terrible day video, I was smiling — something I hadn’t done all day. I also enjoy F*ck That: An Honest Meditation. If swear words offend you, I'd avoid it, but otherwise, it's a refreshingly honest (and relaxing) take on a bad day.

For those who prefer a less profane laugh, turn to a favorite comedy show to cheer up. Schitt’s Creek and The Golden Girls are among my favorites. Even if we just watch silly cat videos or source memes, we need to find a way to laugh to shake off a bad day. Taking a short break to find the humor, however dark, and then trying to make the rest of the day better can be a handy way to salvage the day.

Find gratitude.

On a bad day, finding any gratitude feels impossible. It’s so much easier to focus on what we don’t have or what’s going wrong. But to call a do-over, we need to find something to be grateful for, even if it seems minor.

On my bad day, I was grateful for my new silky pajamas. They were a treat in the middle of quarantine so that I could be cozy inside. I started with just a touch of gratitude for comfort. Then, for coffee. For my kids finally playing together so I could get my work done.

While I stretched to find things to be grateful for, I took myself out of a mindset of scarcity and began to move toward actual appreciation. It happened slowly. But it still counts.

Forgive.

To call a do-over, we have to be willing to let everyone in our household have the same opportunity to restart the day as we get. Instead of being angry with my children all day for their squabbles, we all get to take a deep breath and try again. I can’t just extend that grace to myself while harboring resentments at them — at least, not if I want to have a good day.

While starting over doesn’t cancel out any consequences from earlier in the day, it does allow an opportunity for everyone to have a fresh start to enjoy the remainder of the day free of the weight of the start of it.

Honestly, we might want to take a page from Snoop Dogg’s recent post and let it go.

Make a plan.

Okay, so we want to have a do-over. What does that look like? Lay out the ground rules. For instance, no sulking about the start of the day and no fighting. Focus on the positive. Practice kindness. Once we have a general vibe, we can decide how we want to make the day better.

On a particularly awful day, sometimes we put on our pajamas, cozy up on the couch with blankets and popcorn, and watch movies. Other days, we go for a hike to get out of our house and heads and into nature. If nothing else, we can at least finish the day with a cuddly storytime. Putting some intention behind what we do next can take us from a bad day to a good one.

On particularly difficult mornings when we're all rushing off to work or school, starting over may be a quick process with a commitment to have a better afternoon or evening. It may not be possible to call for a pajama day or go for a hike, but it is always possible to find a way to reset the day--if we're looking for it and can get everyone on board with a fresh start.

Intentionally choose better habits.

After the horror of a bad day, I’m often motivated to try some healthier habits the following day. While a do-over can help save the day we’re in, thinking toward starting the next day off better as a family can also help clear some of the leftover negative energy of a rough start.

A healthy yet comforting dinner, cozy bedtime routine, and intention to start the next day off stronger can help us feel better about life.

Accept imperfection.

We might call a do-over, for ourselves or our families, and fail in epic ways. Maybe we just can’t seem to salvage the rest of the day. It happens. Perhaps the only thing we can do at that point is to take care of ourselves as we experience the bad day and fully feel it. It’s not fun, but it is necessary sometimes. We’re not perfect, and our days won’t be either. Finding acceptance for that can help us surrender to how we’re feeling and shift our priority to self-care.

Bad mornings don’t have to lead to bad days.

We can call a do-over and make every effort to turn it around. Maybe it doesn’t work, but we’ll never know if we don’t try.

If nothing else, maybe we get five good minutes out of the awful day to take a breath and get ready for whatever comes next.