Healing Lenses

Healing.

It can be a funny thing, can't it?

It has many stages, faces, feelings, lets be real...IT IS CHAOS.

It is easy to get stuck in a cycle. In one moment, you are on a vibrant emotional peek and in the next, you feel like you are drowning (somehow all for the name of "HEALING").

You look back on your life and...WOAH, you have been trying to do this “healing” your entire life!

The most painful revaluation I have had is… My trauma has been hiding under the lenses of "healing" for years. Through spirituality and emotional growth, I found what it meant to “love myself”. To move into a state of full self-acceptance, WHOLEY & COMPLETELY, trauma and all.

I looked in the mirror learned to love and EMBRACE every piece of my broken wounded soul. HELL, I even stepped into a place of EMPOWERMENT in it all.

I did this by closing and locking the doors to the version of me that hated herself, who had an eating disorder, who was manipulated, sexually assaulted, ALL OF IT. I decided to leave her in the past. I learned to love the “healing me”, the one that was wounded and that was OKAY. Because I was "better now". The woman who validates listens, and doesn't judge herself or anyone around her.

I became empowered in self-acceptance.

"Trauma, me? oh ya, who doesn't".

Always joking "Thanks, it's all the trauma".

Not that I Identified with it. More of a self-awareness tactic, and I was ok with it because I was "healed".

Okay, sounds pretty decent right? Like "Being “healed” sounds dope, what's the problem?"

The lenses were removed and here is where the perspective was shifted.

Over the last year, I have been unlocking the doors to “the broken shadowed past” for so many women around me. Guiding them into the shadowed area of themselves to find the old versions, the wounded ones. Teaching them to LISTEN to those wounded women within themselves. How to trust and EMBRACE her to truly HEAL.

Unfortunately, we are incredibly adaptive beings. We can learn to observe an emotion and just simply learn to no longer “react” to it. BOOM, we call that "Healing!”

Naaaaah babe. That's COPING.

You see, I realize that I locked out the old versions of me, especially the trauma-filled toxic-ass ones. Slammed the door and LOCKED IT.

BUT these doors were clear. The ones you can see right through. See and even analyze the Trauma and pain, but it no longer "affected me". I told myself this LIE because I wasn't having panic attacks or “major” emotional reactions. And in locking out those versions of myself, I locked out the part of me that needed me the MOST.

The version of me that needed me to validate, accept, and not judge. JUST TO BE HEARD, processed, and RELEASED. That way I could grow into the woman I am meant to be.

I am telling you this because if you have chapters in your life that are currently left unread, READ THEM. If you have doors you have shut to experiences not yet processed, OPEN THEM. HONOR THEM. SHED the tears for them. Create safety within yourself so you can become the woman you know you were meant to be.

Thank you love, for stopping by and sharing this energy with me!

I love connecting with my readers! Please feel free to message me on Instagram: @Freespirit_Barbie

AND HEY! Remember to meditate, drink your damn water, and protect your energy!