Got My Money On My Mindset

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear someone say that you need to work on your mindset?

If you’d asked me a year ago, you’d have gotten an eye roll, and something muttered about woo-woo bullshit.

If you caught me on a good day you might have been met with a forced smile, an unconvincing uh-huh, and a quick subject change.

I’ve always had a vivid imagination and been open to thinking outside the box - creative solutions & all that jazz.

I believe in sasquatch, aliens & ghosts.

So it’s not that I was closed-minded or completely put off by the suggestion that mindset could be such a huge factor into my success or failure.

But the idea that it might be possible to shift my entire life - my financial stability, my career, my love life, my mental health, my emotional well being - all by paying more attention to the way I talk to and treat myself - it just seemed a little too far fetched for me.

Like many of my peers, I was raised, indoctrinated if you will, in the very rational expectation that to see a real, significant shift in my life, my reality, I needed to make a real, significant shift.

Like many others, I believed this to mean I needed to make a shift physically - I needed to move, to relocate, to quit a job, to lose 100 lbs, to dump the loser - you get the idea. But because these are all external changes, leaving everything just like it was before, inside - life continues on much as it was before, just in a different place, a different job, with a better ass, and another jerk.

A lot of folks make the assumption that mindset is only for hippies and tree huggers, peace-nuts and yogis - folks that are obsessed and preoccupied with the color of their energy field, the toxicity levels of their chakras, and the flow of their chee.

Again, no judgment - this is where I was a year ago.

Flash to now, I’m a self-employed small business owner with 3 months of consistently increasing profits under my belt.

I wake up every morning with a fire in my belly, and a smile on my face, giddy beyond belief that I get to spend the day leaning into my natural talents, supporting & empowering other badass female business leaders toward the growth and success of their own passion projects.

While getting married to the love of my life is probably a factor as well, I attribute much of my recent success personally, professionally, emotionally and financially to the work I’ve done on my mindset.

Now, before we dive too far into the rabbit holes of my own opinions & experiences - I figured we’d start with a little bit of background on what mindset actually is - some facts & science.

Because - you know - science.

Mindset is defined as the established set of attitudes held by someone.

It’s a belief or group of beliefs that direct the way we handle or react to situations.

More often than not, our mindset is not something we’re conscious of.

It’s the program running behind the scenes throughout our daily lives.

And we only become truly aware of it when we decide to make a change!

Experts suggest that many people begin developing their mindset early in life, as a result of their upbringing and experiences in school as a child.

Factors can include whether a child is taught to explore, seek out challenges, and embrace new experiences or to “look smart” and be concerned with how they are being viewed by others.

Those same experts agree that mindset can be classified into two primary types - Fixed & Growth.

As you can probably guess, a fixed mindset means being stuck, seeing situations as being unavoidable, set in place, and immovable.

When you’re suffering from a fixed mindset you find yourself responding to shitty situations with thoughts like, “well, it is what it is” and “too late to do anything about it now.”

Folks that are stuck in a fixed mindset tend to see any & all feedback - constructive or otherwise - as a personal attack.

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I was definitely suffering from a fixed mindset in the past - and it left me feeling like nothing I did was ever good enough.

I would exhaust myself, exerting every ounce of energy and focus I could muster, trying to make headway in one goal or another, only to find myself constantly overwhelmed with self-doubt, frustration, and eventually throwing in the towel & being seriously pissed off at the failed opportunity or venture.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one that’s open to challenges.

These folks see hiccups as opportunities for growth & lessons to be learned.

While they still experience both success & failure, individuals with a growth mindset respond to shitty situations with thoughts like, “how can I improve next time” and “what about plan b?”

Folks that have a growth mindset are often inspired by the success of others, driven to improve themselves, and hungry to learn new things.

Alright - that’s enough science & facts for today.

Now you’re probably wondering - how does one start tackling a shitty fixed mindset - especially one that’s so set in place, it seems impossible to change?

Well, I’m glad you asked!

For me, this all started with a blank notepad, a smooth flowing ink pen, an extra shot of espresso, my personal creative mix, and an uninterrupted view of the bay.

I started by listing my values.

Without hesitation, second-guessing myself, or challenging the validity of what I personally hold as valuable, I wrote a list of 15 values I hold to be non-negotiable.

Lines that shall not be crossed.

The things that are off-limits and out of bounds.

For me, this list includes being authentic, genuine & confident that what I’m doing is the right thing.

Once I had a list of my values, I flipped to a new page and made a list of the things I believed to be true.

I’m gonna repeat that just to make sure you heard me right.

I was NOT listing things that ARE actually true - but the things that I BELIEVED to be true.

A former boss of mine had a saying: “Our experiences shape our beliefs, which then shape our perceptions & in turn, create our reality.”

So if, for instance, I experienced poverty as a child, I may have developed a belief that money is evil or hard to come by & that I don’t deserve money. Which then leads to a pretty shitty & broke reality filled with more top ramen & tater tots than is even kinda healthy.

Spoiler alert - this is definitely one of the limiting beliefs I’ve had to address on more than one occasion - in fact, it’s one of my recurring monthly affirmations.

By digging into, addressing, and changing this one toxic and limiting belief I’ve had, around money, to instead believing that I deserve to succeed & that my business will thrive, I’ve experienced a ripple effect of the most amazing shifts in both my mindset and my life.

I’ve also made a conscious effort to move from a scarcity mindset of always worrying where the next paycheck will come from - whether I’ll find a new client - or if we’ll be forced to steal a van & join the bums by the river - to having the faith, confidence & awareness that the universe has my back.

The right clients, the people I’m meant to work with, that need my skills & expertise, will cross my path when they’re meant to. I just need to continue putting myself out there, genuinely connecting with people, sharing my story, providing a valuable service, and the money will come.

Hang on with me - I know - we’re getting into woo-woo territory, but I swear to you - this shit works!

Many people struggle with toxic limiting beliefs that they aren’t strong enough, or smart enough, or special enough to warrant starting their own business or achieving the big impossible dreams they imagine.

I personally spent far too many years obsessively worried about what other people might think of me, focused solely on pleasing them - making them happy & supporting them in the pursuit of their goals - all at the detriment of my own.

It’s only now - within the last year that I’ve settled into my strength & find comfort in who I am, what I stand for, and the value of my own worth, that I can honestly say that for the first time, I’m confident in who I am - and feel sure that the Megs I’m presenting to the world is my best, most authentic self - no ifs &’s or buts!

Now that you’ve got a list of the things YOU believe to be true, it’s time to flip them on their asses!

Much like the example I gave, with my own toxic belief that I was always going to be broke, working for someone else, and generally unhappy with life - flipping to my new belief - that I spend every day utilizing my natural skills & expertise to help improve and empower the lives of others, resting easy in the knowledge that I don’t have to worry about money.

These NEW beliefs I created have become what I consider my monthly affirmations, and I’ve got a list of 11 or 12 that I revisit every day.

Since we’re already waist-deep in the woo, I’m going all the way & sharing that I actually record my affirmations as a voice note on my phone.

Yea, it’s kinda weird, talking to yourself, about yourself, but I mean… that’s basically what I’m doing right now, isn’t it?

I listen to that little recording every morning while I’m getting ready for the day, and again every evening before bed.

After a few weeks, I found myself able to repeat them nearly verbatim, and those new, improved, empowering beliefs that directly address all of my nastiest toxic fears and assumptions are quickly becoming easier and easier to not only believe but trust.

I’ve also made the effort to develop a healthy balance of recognizing and appreciating the things I already have, celebrating the small wins I’m achieving every day, and focusing on the intentions I have for my future - both short & long term - approaching those with the assumption that they’re already in the works and will come to fruition so long as I continue on my path.

Now, thanks to the magic of the interwebs, there are millions of people out there willing to share exactly how they’ve mastered their own fixed mindset and are making multiple 6-figures every hour while napping or practicing tu-wong-fu, many of them are even willing to accept large sums of money in exchange for that humble assistance.

But me, I’m a firm believer in collaboration over competition.

I’d much rather share some of the tips & tricks that have worked for me personally, for the super low price of your listening to me chatter for 20 minutes.

I know - I know - It’s a steal & I’m a saint!

So here goes nothing.

Pay attention to how you speak to yourself.

This means when you drop the full french press & spill boiling bean-water all over the kitchen floor, scalding the tops of your feet and making an extra hour of housework for yourself when you really don’t have the time to spare - DON’T belittle yourself or curse your klutz-tendencies.

Take care of the situation.

Take care of yourself.

Show yourself compassion, care & concern.

Accidents happen.

Mistakes will be made.

No one died.

And Amazon Prime exists for a reason.

Set goals for yourself - short & long term.

And celebrate when you achieve them.

This means even if your goal is to get caught up on laundry, and your latest true-crime series obsession.

Write it down.

Mark it off when you accomplish it.

And celebrate your success!

Surround yourself with ‘your’ people.

I’m going on record right now that I am NOT recommending you go out and bond with folks - spreading your COVID germs around.

I am recommending that you find ways to connect with people that lift you up.

The internet is a powerful tool and has made it nearly impossible to be alone.

Find a Facebook Group or Community Board that interests you.

Make connections with like-minded folks.

For Bonus Points - Find someone who’ll hold you accountable to your affirmations, your intentions, and your goals.

Be grateful.

Take a few moments every day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for.

It can be easy to fall into a downward spiral focusing on all the negative things happening around us.

Between the constant streams of news updates and the current state of unrest around the world, it’s important to refocus on all of the amazing things, big & small, that are also occurring, often with much less fanfare & attention.

And finally, find & embrace your purpose.

It’s easy to say that our purpose is to be happy & healthy & skipping through life on a yellow brick road with wild unicorns flying by.

But it’s important to look deeper, and uncover what it is specifically that fills your cup, lights your fire, and turns you on!

This one can take a while, and often requires some uncomfortable soul-searching.

But it’s worth it.

When it comes to mindset, Henry Ford hit it pretty spot on when he said - “Whether you believe you can or can’t - you’re right.”