Four Ways to Increase Your Happiness Quotient

I used to have mild anxiety due to negative thinking, a general sense of unhappiness and worry over the future. An oppressive negative mindset was my go-to until one day I was just so sick of myself I decided to do things differently.

Since that day, I’ve been paying attention to what makes me happy, or at least content.

con·tent

/kənˈtent/

adjective

1. in a state of peaceful happiness.

2. “he seemed more content, less bitter”

3. synonyms: contented, satisfied, pleased; More

Don’t compare yourself to others -

This can be hard to do in the era of Facebook and Instagram. And while it’s completely normal to compare our lives to our friend’s lives, it is the quickest way to unhappiness.

First off, all the humblebragging on Facebook and Instagram doesn't give you an accurate picture of what a person’s life is really like outside the highly filtered and edited photos they post on these envy producing websites.

It just isn’t the reality of a person’s life — it’s a curated small part of it.

We all do it. Take hundreds of photos and pick the best one or two, edit it within an inch of its life to represent us. We go on vacation and immediately post, “Look, I’m on vacation,” how great is my life.

According to the Los Angeles Times, JetCost, a travel website, surveyed 4,000 Americans and found that 70% said they had a better time on vacation than they actually did.

[…] almost 70% said they had a better time on vacation than they actually did, and more than half said they wouldn’t tell anyone if their vacation was a complete fiasco even if it was.

You have no way of knowing via social media what is going on in a person’s inner mind. What thoughts they have, what their internal dialog sounds like, what their intimate relationships look like up close — in their day to day, in their actual living rooms and bedrooms.

I have a dear friend with whom I spend a lot of time. I see her in person frequently; we live within miles of each other.

She has wonderful qualities that I love and admire, but she is a hot mess when it comes to intimate relationships with men and her family. You would never know this from her Facebook feed. From her social media posts, it looks like she has a life anyone would want — travel, money, relationships, pictures of people laughing and hugging at the latest restaurant, and yet, she struggles with loneliness and insecurities — as we all do from time to time — but one would never know from following her on social media.

This is human nature.

We wouldn’t post a video of a fight with our partner or a picture of us rolling out of bed in the morning with our hair standing straight up and droll down one side of our face.

That would be depressing.

However, keeping in mind and thinking consciously while on social media about what is real vs. what is the best moment of a person’s day will give you perspective.

Trying something new, often

While creating a routine and sticking to it can increase one’s productivity, and is a great way to have a life of predictability; one with balance, a schedule, things you can count on — all assets when it comes to increasing your productivity, building successful business, or working on anything in life — it can be a little stifling to creativity and living in the moment.

Making new friends, trying new things, putting yourself in different experiences and getting out of your comfort zone increases your happiness quotient.

You will feel life’s abundance when you try something new, you’ll see yourself in a new light.

I had been putting off taking a dance class because I cannot dance. I’m terrible at following dance steps on the fly. My clumsy feet won’t cooperate, and I’m mortified when the entire class is doing it correctly, and I’m off doing the wrong step making a fool of myself. I feel like the whole room is looking at me when, in reality, they couldn’t care less. No one is thinking about how I missed a step. Not one person. They are all concentrating on their own feet.

I was scared, but I went anyway.

The burst of energy I received from trying something new carried me throughout the week and made my writing come faster with more verve. It broke up the monotony of my routine, made my week more pleasant, made my synapse fire in a different way other than the way writing does. I can’t wait to go back to another dance class and perfect my moves.

Travel and live music -

If you have ever traveled to a foreign country, you know this feeling — you are immediately living in the present.

You have to be in the moment to ensure survival — even if that survival means being able to order the pastry you want.

Everything is different: the smells, the food, the language, the physical location. In some countries, the cars are driving on the other side of the road. You have to pay attention, or you could die walking across the street.

The entire culture is foreign, and you aren’t familiar with its norms and customs, so paying attention is a biological reaction to finding yourself in an unfamiliar place — one in which you haven’t figured out yet.

When all your senses are on high alert, there is little room to worry about the failures of the past or the unknowable future while navigating a foreign land. Travel puts you in the here and now — the fastest way to contentment.

If you are concentrating on what is happening to you right now, at this moment, then you won’t be worrying about the future or what the past couldn’t hold.

Live music has a similar effect.

When attending a live event performed by a musician you love, you are concentrating on the words, the melodies, will the band play your favorite song? The air has this kinetic energy from the crowd moving and singing, you are all enjoying a similar experience together which heightens the power of now in the theatre, stadium or park — connected in the moment through song.

Any way you can bring yourself to the present through music or travel or meditation or anything that holds you in each moment will give you greater and more frequent moments of joy and happiness.

Be kind first

When you are going about your day, be the first to ask the barista, the waitress, the checkout person, your child, your partner how they’re doing. Ask them first how their day is going. Be first to smile.

This will bring happiness. Guaranteed.

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Jessica is a writer, an online entrepreneur, and a recovering Type A personality. She lives in Los Angeles with her extrovert daughter, two dogs, and two cats.